On Sunday a mother asked if I would sign the passport application for her daughter. I have filled out a number of these lately, a consequence of increased security for international travel. I offered to do it then and there, and we chatted as I filled in the various boxes.The mom told me that recently her daughter had been taunted with racial slurs at school. She was adopted from China seven years ago and while this doesn't happen often, it is still hurtful.
I am reading Barbara Coloroso's book called Extraordinary Evil which looks at the roots of genocide. Some of you will know Coloroso because of her important work on the subject of bullying. Her premise that it is not a long walk from childhood denigration of others to genocides such as Rwanda seems at first to be a stretch, yet we have to wonder where the roots of prejudice and hatred take hold.
When the mother told me of what had happened to her lovely child I was saddened, and even a bit surprised that in this multicultural day these incidents still occur. My comment was that the perpetrator did not come by this prejudice naturally. It was learned, probably at home.
While those who are religious often foment intolerance, I am convinced that communities of faith can continue to be places where kindness and openness are nurtured and promoted. One of the best-loved parables of Jesus is about an "outsider," a Samaritan who shows compassion to a stranger when no one else would.
4 comments:
I had a few women to my home last night. As I was saying goodbye to one another friend came out and said "I have to leave, they've started talking about blacks" (I found out later they were talking about the Jane/Finch area. They did not know that this friend of mine has two very handsome, lovely, grandsons of mixed race (I don't know the polictally correct way of say that.) She is a little sensitive. It reminded me that we need to choose our words carefully and know who are audience is before we start making blanket statements. They can be hurtful.
I agree with David that these things are learned. I too was part of that conversation he refers to. I also have a daughter from China, who fortunately has not been taunted to date. What I find interesting is that children see their peers as equals. When I asked my daughter if a boy in her class with an Asian last name was Chinese or not, her reply was, "I don't know, he has black hair like me". We need to take more lessons from of our children.
Thanks for these comments. It's true that children tend to be colour-blind until taught otherwise. And even supposedly innocuous racial comments can be tossed out casually without much consideration for who might be affected.
I had a conversation with my 22-year-old daughter recently during which we both admitted to moments of racism, something which horrifies her because she is such a kind and generous soul. I suppose it is an aspect of our sinfulness to want to tag others for their differences, real or imagined.
When I taught in another life, in a Day Care (Toronto)a child mixed black and white was washing up after being outside. Another child was watching astounded and with no sealed surprise said to her, "It doesn't come off!"
She had thought the other child was just a bit dirty...she was more brown in colour than black. The little one who made the comment said it as a natural "Oh" that's all.
The other one heard and matter of factly said, "Yes, that's what colour I am!" A learning for one and a confirmation of identity for the other. Both went about what they were doing as if nothing untoward had occurred.
I was pleased to see that. The one had her own identity clear. I believe when cildren are loved and accepted..belong.. in their own home, church, etc. they learn they are okay..already. And aren't looking outside of themselves as much to figure out who they are.
These are also the ones who are able to say, "No" when they need to later in life. They know who they are. Peer pressure will try to get to them, but these are the ones who will make it in life easier than those who get pushed around at home, or wherever, and are never sure about themselves.
Jesus taught that love was the only way to bring about all good. Love can't forced.
When we know we are loved and are grounded we can feel the world swing from one thing to another, but we can hold on to the core and change as well, but the core in us is 'steady as she goes.'
We belong to God..only, in the long run. Children learn too many adult ways before thay have developed enough not to internalize them.
We all make up society and have much to answer for, but society doesn't have all the answers either, but Love does. We have confused love and violence, love and many other things so the mix up is taking its toll on all of us. The children suffer most being the weakest and most vulnerable.
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