My first 24 hours on leave turned out to be an interesting study in why clergy need to go into a form of the witness protection program. Part way through the morning there was a knock on the door and there stood a former parishioner I hadn't seen in a decade. During a tough time in his work life we talked a fair amount but we had lost touch through the years. He sought me out, unannounced, to apologize for his behaviour while under stress. Actually, he was always a sweet guy and his remorse was unneccessary from my perspective. But we spent a while together while he made his confession and we agreed to connect again.At eleven at night there was a phonecall from the wife of a current parishioner, as least one who is a member. I haven't seen him in a while and she is not involved. Was he at our place she wondered, obviously worried about his whereabouts and well-being. I hadn't heard from him but I then lay awake pondering what might have happened to him. She signed off without a word.
This morning I went to the gym and someone who had been at a funeral I conducted recently bent my ear about the deceased as I edged toward the elliptical machine.
These were all good people who had there own agendas which became mine by virtue of the contact. It is next to impossible to say "the meter is off" and yet there need to be times when pastors are not pastors. Most people are considerate most of the time. It is the exceptions, often folk in crisis, who can make ministry overwhelming.
Perhaps the solution is in the photo above.
4 comments:
I am sorry to hear that you have taken time away from St. Paul's for health reasons, but I applaud you for taking the needed time.
I'm sure your presence will be missed, but I also know that there are many very capable members and staff that can fill in while you are away.
Being in the community for your leave does pose a challenge. Everyone knows where you live, and not everyone will know that you are on leave. So, when someone stops you, do you say, "Sorry, but I'm off duty." Especially in smaller communities (I still consider Bowmanville small although I live in a community much smaller), it is difficult to become invisible. The bag over the head might work, but the smiley face won't work. My advice would be to draw a really scary face on it. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Blessings to you and your family,
Deb
I wonder if ministers are different from the medical profession or, in fact, any profession where caring and sharing is the main focus of the profession. Perhaps they are not as accesssible. Just thinking out loud.
This is all new for everyone...it will take time.
Re the paper bag...nice touch.
I sure can relate to your story. As a teacher who lived in her school community, I could hardly visit the store, library, church etc without running into a "parent with a problem".
Hopefully, time will heal this problem as more people become aware of your need to be left alone. You're in my prayers!
Thanks, all, for your responses. Even when we lived in Larger urban centres the comunities became "smaller" with the passage of time. It's good to be known, and understandable that it becomes about the need rather than a social interaction. There is that somewhat corny but accurate distinction between being a "human doing" and a "human being." I'll keep working on the human being!
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