We have all seen the women of fundamentalist Muslim communities, dressed in clothing that is designed to erase anything that might be considered feminine. Similarly, orthodox Jewish women who are modestly dressed and wearing wigs to cover the hair God gave them. Religions have tended to express caution about sexuality to the point of making it a source of shame rather than something to be celebrated. Christianity is as guilty in this regard as any other religion.
Does that mean that there should be no boundaries in terms of sexual expression? We are living in what is arguably the most hyper-sexualized society in history. Everything from rampant porn on the internet to musical and dance performances on television which would once have been restricted to strip clubs has changed our attitudes toward sex.
Tonight on the CBC radio program Ideas and again next Monday on a CBC television documentary the impact of changing sexual mores on teens will be explored by Lynn Glazier. I listened to Glazier this morning in an interview on radio. She points out what many of us have seen from a distance and some of you as parents see coming up for your kids. The pressure to be sexual and sexually active for young teens is enormous, often at a stage when the implications of this activity are not understood. School hallways are often the place where this pressure takes place.
As a pastor I wonder what we need to do as a faith community. The "total abstinence because sex is bad" approach of some denominations is a mistake, from my perspective. So is silence.
There are a number of readers with children moving into the tweens and teens stage of life. Several readers are teachers. What are your concerns, fears? Should the church be involved in healthy sex education? I welcome the thoughts and perspectives of others.
The Ideas program airs this evening at 9:05, with the second part next Wednesday. The TV documentary Wired for Sex, Lies and Power Trips: IT'S A TEEN'S WORLD, is on CBC Newsworld' The Passionate Eye Monday, October 5 at 10 pm E.T., repeating Sunday, Oct. 11 at 8 pm E.T.
4 comments:
I listened to that same piece this morning on my way to work, all the while thinking of my soon to be tween. For her right now fashion is where it's at, "do I look good?" In my opinion, this is where it starts. Teaching children to respect their bodies is key. Teaching them to dress so that they are not revealing anything or suggesting anything is also important. It is difficult for parents as a lot of the clothing is geared to the "sexy" for girls. We need to fight back with the manufacturers and encourage them to produce clothing that is for girls but not "revealing". (another discussion, but there is a group who are doing just this)
I think the church can be a place for healthy discussions on sex education, but kids need to feel comfortable in the discussions, so establishing safe environments for the discussions to take place is what is important.
I have had a bit of hard time with the way female teens are dressed. I so badly want to say something, open up a dialogue, but I am sure they would run away. It's a senstive issue for them too. They are trying to be adults. I find it heart breaking that a teenage girl would have to expose so much to stay hidden. No one wants to stand out, at least not negatively. Women fought so hard to be equal, and yet our daughters are just as much a victim of our sexual mores as those who live in places that require them to keep their bodies hidden. But this psychological similairity doesn't get much space. The ironic thing is that teenage girls think they are rebelling, when in fact, they have been sold a lie about who they are and where their own potential lies. But how to do you sell that?
You mean we can't keep them in an ivory tower til they're 25?
This is a tough generation to foster in the area of sexuality. Hearing the terrible tragedy of Stephanie Rengel's murder unfold in the courts recently seemed like a siren warning us of the need to somehow slow things down again for our kids.I agree total abstinence will fall on deaf ears but in my opinion there is still room for it in the discussion for the very young. I suppose the challenge becomes what constitutes "very young".
Interestingly this year's theme for our Sunday morning Tweens'n' Teens is Relationships including 5 sections: on ourselves (self image), our family, our friends (of both genders), God and the bigger world.Should be interesting!
Thank you for these perspectives, all of which are thoughtful. I know that all of you are parents, from teens, through tweens, to tween wannabes.
I hope that the St. Paul's tweens and teens group will be a safe enough place to explore some of the more sensitive aspects of peer pressure and sexuality.
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