I drove in to Toronto yesterday to visit one of our members who was in an accident that busted him up every which way to Sunday. He spent a month in an American hospital, clinging to life for the first while, then was air ambulanced back to T.O when his condition improved. Unfortunately he took a serious turn for the worse shortly after he returned, and his survival seemed in jeopardy again.
In Critical Care I stood beside his remarkably strong wife while a young doctor carefully shared what turned out to be gigantic good news about a tiny improvement from the previous day. It was enough that the doc was making hopeful noises, however cautious, and his hand motioning a "positive incline" was a welcome sight.
Eventually we were allowed into the room, albeit with gowns, masks, and gloves in place. This poor guy had to contend with a masked stranger looming over him, but he responded to his wife's encouragement that he did know me and that I was part of the God Squad. He reached out for my hand as I began to read psalm 121 and closed his eyes for prayer. He even gave my hand a squeeze when I finished. These situations are so meaningful for those of us in ministry.
It was important to be able to tell him that many others at St. Paul's are praying for him, and to present both his wife and adult daughter with prayer shawls, along with another for him. I will encourage everyone who knows this family to keep them in the "critical prayer unit."
Have you ever been that person at the hospital bedside, or the person in crisis in the hospital bed? Were you aware of the prayers of a faith community? Any thoughts from my colleagues in ministry about our wierd and wonderful roles in hospitals?
7 comments:
I have been that person several times in my life. When I was a teen my brother was in a serious accident at his work place and I remember holding his hand while he slept and praying for him. [He still doesn't know this. He would have laughed] I wasn't able to be there when he was first injured because I was in a different province, and so those first prayers were sent from a distance. In one of the last lucid moments I had with my mother I recited the 23rd Psalm for her and she responded with a teardrop. I prayed with my brother-in-law the night he died. He passed away in his sleep not to long after we had left. He was not religious but he held my hands close to his chest and told me repeatedly that he just wanted to look at me. He stared intently into my eyes while I prayed for him to accept the arms of God however he saw God. There was a lot of unspoken communication with John that day. We spent that whole last day with him and the entire time John held for my hand and every time my hand moved away from his he searched for it. I remember also holding a popcicle for him while he ate it, and he laughed at the awkwardness of this. We learned it isn't easy to co-ordinate assisted feeding with a melting food.
Actually, there was something I had forgotten. When my brother was sleeping the man in the bed beside his began moaning. He had been hurt in a motorcycle accident. He motioned for me to give him water which I gave him. He also reached for my hand and would not let go, so I stayed with him and stroked his hand. I was only 15, and I felt like I was doing something wrong, and I felt nervous about getting caught for some reason. I don't remember if I prayed for him, but I felt an immense grief for this perfect stranger. I was able to stay with him until some of his family arrived. The next day the curtian around his bed was closed and I could see his family standing silently around his bed. He died the following day and I remember that I grieved for him, although I couldn't speak to anyone about it.
I have been the person beside the bed many times, but my most memorable experience in the recent past was when I could not even go into the Cardiac Critical Care Unit, only the immediate family were allowed to go in.
I received a call at work from my daughter that my brother's wife's niece needed an urgent heart transplant. The whole family began to pray and we urged all our friends and relatives to pray as well. About 2 weeks later we got the call that she was going in to surgery, they found her a heart. Then came the call that the heart was in bad shape and they could not use it. We continued to pray! She was not expected to live long enough to get a new heart at this point. 3 weeks later, she got her new heart!
I was in Toronto visiting another friend who had just had surgery and I wandered over to see Mandy's family, I knew I could not get in to see her. Her parents were so happy to see me and share with me how well she was doing! They were very grateful for all our prayers!
She is now planning her wedding next summer!
Thank you both for taking the time to share meaningful experiences in hospital settings. In is a curious world of almost overwhelming technological assistance along with the intense intimacy of hands-on care and fleeting moments of shared emotions.
Both of you point out what can happen in these settings and that matters of the heart and the Spirit are not dependent on the presence of clergy.
I too have waited with family close at hand and yet at a distance.
I have also been at the beside of many people who were facing their final days on this earth. I have said before, so forgive me for repeating, that it is such a 'gift' to be allowed 'in' at that time.
The most memorable time for me was the night that Richard and I arrived at the Kingston Hospital after finding out that our grand-daughter had been diagnosed with Leukemia (I wonder why I capitalize that?) I was in the room alone with her while she slept. I put my hand on her back and prayed "Dear God, please give her my strength to fight this and if it means that it takes years off my life that's o.k." I believe it was the most honest and heartfelt prayer I have ever prayed. As I write this I can still feel the lump in my throat and the feeling in the pit of my stomach....5 years later! Little did I know that our journey was just beginning. Was my prayer answered? Well, she is in Grade 2 now - enough said.
Just a postscript to my blog. I know in this day of "privacy' issues we have to be careful about naming names. HOWEVER, if we got permission from the family could we not actually name names so we could be a little more specific in our thoughts and prayers? I do remember when we used to put people's names in the bulletin who needed prayers or help. I can't help but feel that we are taking the privacy thing a little too far. Perhaps this is a whole other blog?
You have experienced being at the bedside at both ends of life in recent years Lynn. And even in those lonelier moments you were surrounded in the prayers of others.
The positive outcome for your grand-daughter was an answer to prayer, and we'll trust that God will choose to let you off the hook on the shortening of life part.
We simply adhere to the regular admonitions that "naming names" in worship is illegal now. I'm not even supposed to share info with co-workers without permission. Annoying, but a reality.
Including names with permission is allowed, would be hit and miss, not to mention a wild goose chase at times.
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