Demented

I have been pondering dementia of late, that spectrum of illnesses including Alzheimer's which robs people of memory and eventually the fundamental skills to stay alive. To describe someone as "demented" seems harsh, even cruel, along the lines of "addled" yet we use the term dementia regularly. This is the season for me to visit many of our elders and a considerable number of them have been diagnosed with dementia.

The other afternoon I saw a woman who is in decline. I asked her about reading because everytime I visit she has a book in hand. She admitted that she just doesn't read the same way she did. When I commented that she had been in this particular nursing home for several years now she told me quite firmly that it was only a year and she likes if very much. There was no point in arguing about the time line.

Several other persons I have seen recently were having a good day, clear of the anxiety and intense confusion which often plagues them. Sometimes this is the most we can hope for. I take my bible with me and read the Christmas story from Luke, which is so familiar to most of them. Then I pray. I am often struck by their attentiveness, as though the storm clouds have scudded away for a holy moment and the sun has emerged. I suppose it is the Son. On occasion someone will speak in the midst of the reading offering a commentary or a recollection, as though they are entering into the narrative or reliving their past. I find I am often quite tired after a number of these visits because I am subtlely required to work harder than in other visits.

I suppose a lot of us are at least mildly fearful of becoming demented. We can't find our keys or blank on a familiar name and we wonder if this is the beginning of the end when in fact we just need a decent night's sleep. Surely we hope and pray that those in our circle will continue to love us no matter what road our complex brains take us down.

Do you support someone with dementia? Does it scare you enough that you shie away from those who are suffering from it? I wonder whether we will ever develop a mature practical theology of dementia rather than muddling along as best we can. All I know for sure is that God loves them.