We heard last week that the elementary school children of Sandy Hook Connecticut returned to the classroom in a building well removed from their old school. On the bus route someone erected placards with an angel for each person who was massacred by the gunman who entered their former school and killed indiscriminately.
Does anyone else find these placards and others like them obscene? That may sound like too strong a term, but honestly good readers, what message does this send survivors? I wonder if the children will be terrified by these images, given what they have gone through.
I have heard people say after a death that God must have needed another angel, along with other theologically suspect comments which are meant to give comfort or meaning to the loss. They don't. Nowhere in scripture do I find that God is manufacturing angels by having humans murdered. Nowhere in the bible is there any suggestion that we become angels when we die. In truth, the life to come is a profound mystery, even though it is a hope and a promise.
Those children and adults in Newtown died senselessly at the hands of a disturbed young man whose mother left powerful weapons where he had access to them. They were evidence of her own mistaken conviction that being armed is the equivalent of being safe. She was tragically wrong.
I have faith that God has welcomed those who died home, but none that this was God's intention for their precious lives. If people really care about the surviving children they will make their world safer by getting rid of weapons, not making angel stencils.
Am I just having a bad day? Did anyone else find these placards a tad ghoulish? Why do we do stuff like this?
9 comments:
Agree, Agree, Agree. You said it so well. Thanks.
I wouldn't go so far as to characterize them as "obscene." But you're right: it's certainly a misguided attempt at comforting the survivors as they try to resurrect the normalcy in their lives.
The NY Times was reporting yesterday that the White House is apparently gearing up to unveil their new weapons control programme. I agree with you in that this is the best way the victims of Newtown (and Virginia Tech, Aurora and Columbine High School, and ...) could be honoured and remembered.
At first blush, I had not thought anything negative about the angels. Your blog has given me a different way of looking at it.
I'm sure whoever erected the signs did so with the best of intentions, however if they had thought more about it, would have chosen a different way to honour the victims and their families.
You're so right David - it is not at all comforting at the death of a loved one - that God must have needed another angel in heaven. But I heard one even more 'obscene' - Dad had been dead for 11 years, when Mom died, and someone said to us (my brother and sister)- your dad must have needed your mother more in heaven than you did.
I understand the well meaning intention but sometimes, people just need to keep their expressions of sympathy - simple. A hug, or firm hand clasp and the phrase 'i'm so sorry' says it all.
And those families and/or children at Sandy Hook do not need to be physically reminded daily about what happened at their school or to their family and/or friends. They are living with it.
Don't even get me started on the obscene comments some people make after a loved one dies. Even worse it seems, after a child dies. "things happen for a reason", "they are in a better place", "God needed another angel" are all things I heard after our son died. Are you kidding me? The best place for any child is in his or her mother/fathers' arms. Thank.you.very.much. Yes, these angel signs are macabre at best, reminding these children of the terror they went through and continue to go through.
As for angels, when our son died, we explained to our girls that he was an angel watching over us. We have a book regarding stillbirth called "we were supposed to have a baby, but had an angel instead". Only later did I realize that apparently we don't become angels when we die (?!). Is there any harm in not mentioning this to my kids? I don't think so. The "rules" are confusing, so I just follow my own thoughts sometimes.
I do have to add, I agree with Roger, I don't think they were intended to do any harm though. Maybe they are comforting to some of the people, who are we to know really.
Thanks all. This blog reflects my exasperation at the way usually well-intentioned people can be so hurtful with comments and actions they haven't explored thoroughly. That sea of placards just seemed so ominous to the point of being ghoulish.
Sarah, you have seen both sides. You know the pain of wrong-headed "comfort." What you offered to your two lovely daughters is different, it seems to me. You were attempting to help them imagine a loss in a positive way as a loving parent.
I agree totally - and I am always upset when I hear people say someone who has died, no matter what the circumstances, has gone "to be an angel" because God needed more ... not my understanding of angels and their role at all... and certainly not why these poor children's lives were taken....
Thanks Judy.
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