Last week an obituary of an elderly woman went viral. It was written by a daughter and endorsed by several other siblings. It received so much attention because it unapologetically spoke ill of the dead. The mother was abusive to the extent that her children were removed from her care and most had little contact with her through their lifetimes. The mother's cruelty led to legislation in Nevada which essentially allows children to divorce parents under certain circumstances. The obit starts out:
“On behalf of her children who she abrasively exposed to her evil and violent life, we celebrate her passing from this earth and hope she lives in the after-life reliving each gesture of violence, cruelty and shame that she delivered on her children.”
Wow. This is about as close to "rot in hell" as you can get. It expresses a hope of eternal retribution for evil deeds.
It causes me to ponder how we live our lives and how we will be remembered. I have reflected on the lives of hundreds of people in funeral and memorial services and they are a form of obituary. Some of those individuals actually wrote their own obituaries, although they have been factual rather than flowery, informational rather than inspirational. They left it to others to say how their lives have been influenced.
There was a day when funerals offered little about the individual, instead emphasizing eternal hope. I figure it should be a combination of both. Of course a eulogy literally means speaking well of the departed.
What do you think about the obituary written by this miserable woman's family? Have you every been to a funeral where you didn't recognize the person as they are described? What would you hope for in your obituary?
5 comments:
I know a few people who wish their close relatives were dead, for reasons similar to those of the subjects in your blog today - and I think they might make a few comments about their celebration, but perhaps not in an "official" obituary.
I once read a quotation that read "we should live our lives so that, although we enter this world crying, others are crying when we leave" - I always assumed that it meant crying out of sadness for the loss, not crying for joy!
Wow, that is so sad. What a miserable life the children must have had with their mother that they would eulogize her in this way.
I don't know how I feel about it, because it is so hard to wrap my mind around. I am blessed with wonderful parents and siblings. It is a stark reminder that many people are not so fortunate, and the wickedness of their parents have left a trail of anger, devastation and emotional wounds.
I recall my husband coming home after attending a lovely funeral of someone he had known only as a blustery, cranky old businessman with the comment that he was sure he had been at the wrong service....or maybe just perhaps, the deceased had another side to him, that didn't show up in business.
We probably all have a few people we wouldn't choose to write our obituaries but as Roger said it seems especially sad when that person is your own child.
Truthfully I am not keen on the idea of a vindictive obituary for anyone.....no need to lie but just stick to the facts. Much can be read from what is not said.
I think it is sad as well. I too know many who have been psychologically, and physically abused by supposed love ones. I have also seen those who have gone through this soul-destroying stuff rise above it all to say farewell with dignity. I don't judge those who can't, but admire those who do.
Well said, David.
It may not be the Christian thing to have done and it will likely not bring true peace to the hearts of her children, but a part of me understands that for children who were likely powerless and never had a voice to defend themselves with against such violence, this was their time.
Post a Comment