Heather and the Ripple Effect

From time to time I muse about the "glad and sad" of relationships with people through a long ministry. After nearly 35 years the positives far outweigh the negatives, and for this I am deeply grateful. I delight in messages from those who want to share good news with me from different congregations.  Not long ago a couple I married three or four years ago sent me an email and photo of their newborn second child. I hear about special events and accomplishments in the lives of children, some of whom are now young adults and I find it deeply satisfying.

I also hear the sad stuff, and the ripples of relationship can be far-reaching. More than a decade ago while serving in Halifax I married a couple who had both lost their first partner to illness. It was a happy pastoral task, and we have stayed in touch. In fact we have become and remained friends, even though they now live in Colorado. I have visited them on several occasions during conferences, and the last time Ruth, my wife, was with me. We went to their church and met Heather, a vivacious woman with four daughters. She was one of those persons who is a bright light in a room, and exuded optimism. This despite the fact that she had breast cancer and was raising the girls as a single mom.

Yesterday I opened an email from our friends with news that Heather had died at age 41, seven years after being diagnosed. It's rather blunt to put it this way, but it's a hell of a thing. I felt the body-blow of sadness which comes with death, even though I hardly knew her. That is the tough ripple effect of ministry. Yet when I read on, then reread the email I realized it goes both ways. The death notice is a wonderful tribute to a person who radiated life, not death. It includes these observations:

Heather reached out to others, making strangers friends. As a way to honor Heather, you are encouraged to participate in an act of love as lived by Heather – generous, creative, outrageous love. Heather repeatedly asked that we care for her girls.

The funeral will be tomorrow and those who gather are encouraged to wear orange in some way, because it was Heather's favourite colour. God be with those girls, who are between the ages of eight and fifteen, and all who loved Heather. Please pray for these strangers in distant Colorado.

This is both the worst and best of being a pastor in the different expressions of  the body of Christ.

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