Murderous Anger & the Teaching of Jesus

 

“You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. 

So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.

                                                   Matthew 5:21-25 NRSVue

Today we will be at a celebratory event which will nonetheless be awkward for some in attendance. A longstanding enmity between some of those on hand, mostly aimed by one party at another, will be an unwelcome presence in the room. Those we know best are bracing for a dreary repeat of murderous glances sent their way on other occasions.

Coincidentally, the scripture readings for the day include a passage from the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew where Jesus gives direction regarding smouldering, spiritually murderous anger, and what comes across as the urgency of reconciliation. It's actually tough teaching, yet not to ignored.

I certainly learned through the years that decent people who I figure genuinely wanted to be followers of Jesus were often nursing grievances which were older than I was as their minister (I was ordained at age 25). I could see how it poisoned not only the relationship of those directly involved but seeped out into other relationships, a form of spiritual sepsis. 

Twenty-five years ago a couple we know separated in ugly circumstances and one party never forgave the other. It has affected so much in the lives of their children as they've become adults, and included a condemnatory letter of the former partner just before a wedding. What possible good comes from this? Several years later the letter writer's anger appears to be just as deep. 

This isn't the only way, even though it is far too common. After a study sesson on forgiveness in our current congregation one of the participants took a few minutes to tell me his story. Years before, his wife told him their marriage was over because of his affair -- with his work. It took him a while but he came to realize that he had been a workaholic and her choice was justified. He set out to be a different person with her and his children. They came together amicably at holidays and important occasions. They knew they would never live together again but they became friends and actually travelled together as such, which I found remarkable. 

Of course, this is an exception, but a meaningful one, even if it isn't possible in this way for lots of people. I suppose we all have hurts and grudges which we need to lay on the altar of reconciliation and foregiveness, not as "doormats", nor in relinquishing our sense of self or safety, but as healthy decisions in moving on. Even if we can never have a meaningful conversation with the offender or the one we offended we can settle accounts in our own spirits for the sake of those we love and for ourselves. 

Is Jesus, who embodied God's grace and forgiveness, intimating that we end up creating our own prison sentences? As I said last Sunday, we need more Sermon on the Mount. Three weeks in the lectionary just isn't enough.