People in the St. Paul's congregation as well as other friends and family continue to be kind and supportive during my restorative leave. This is meaningful, especially since I wasn't required to reveal the nature of my absence from work.
My goal during these months away is restoration of body, mind, and spirit. I have been encouraged to get away from the community during a portion of this time because it is hard to take ten steps without bumping into folk I know. The gym, the grocery store, the end of my driveway on garbage day are venues for conversation. Not a single person has pried or been anything other than kind, but at times life feels a little claustrophobic. I am letting go of my over-developed sense of responsibility for everything and everyone.
Among the several things I am doing during this time is undergoing thorough medical tests. This is good since I just found out that my triglycerides are so elevated that it was not possible to get an accurate reading on other indicators in my blood. The doctor told me in a matter-of-fact manner that my levels increase my risk of a heart attack five-fold. Good to know! I am now on medication to correct this.
We were both a little surprised because I eat well, exercise "religiously", and keep my weight in check. I have never smoked. All the things recommended to avoid this sort of problem. Only a few years ago this was not registered as a problem at all. It may be genetics -- my grandfather died of a heart attack in his fifties -- and perhaps stress. Body, mind, and spirit.
So, I will do my best to be a "human being" during this next while rather than just a "human doing." I am feeling better, reading, praying, staying active. God is present.
I was reading something recently that referred to the "do-be-do" religion getting out of balance...way too much doing, not enough being...and it resonated with me. It seems too often all the doing is just a way of "avoiding" listening to the deeper whispers of the heart. "Be still and know that I am God" is my mantra.... even if only a few minutes, most days? Walk gently through the days, feel our prayers and take care of you.
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