The Glee Watcher in our household tells me that last week Curt, the gay member of the glee club, was elected Prom Queen at the high school. His election was meant to mock his orientation, but his partner encouraged him to wear the crown with pride, so to speak.Not all that long ago it would have been unimaginable to have this sort of story line on a TV show, particularly one set in a high school.This is the International Day Against Homophobia http://www.homophobiaday.org/ so why not ask how we are doing in the church? This continues to be the subject of discussion and controversy around the world.
The United Church of Canada has made a series of official decisions since 1988 about gay, lesbian, transgendered leadership and marriage, but congregations do their own soul-searching. I visited a couple new to St. Paul's recently and they told me that they had been part of a thriving congregation to the west of Toronto. That all changed when they studied and voted on gay marriage. The congregation was split and many people left. The minister retired and his successor informed them a couple of years in that he is gay. More departures.
I should say that while I have come to a place of acceptance in all this, I have had many conversations with parishioners who are still opposed, and I don't consider them to be homophobic, at least not in some cases. They have prayerfully and humbly looked at scripture and come to different conclusions. I believe that as with families, there are times when we must "agree to disagree."
There is a worthwhile article in the latest Christian Century on the debate in the Anglican Church in the U.S. http://christiancentury.org/article/2011-04/same-sex-complementarity
Of course this isn't just an ongoing discussion in the church. There are many people who choose not to "out" themselves in their workplaces or their families because of concern that there will be backlash and strife.
Where are you in all this? Has your mind changed over time, or do you feel that society is making a mistake? Should we keep the discussion alive, or let it go?I encourage all of you, including those who are readers but stay "in the closet" to offer perspectives.
6 comments:
I had an interesting discussion with a good friend about this issue on the weekend, and we eventually looked at the progress made for acceptance of gays, lesbians and trans-gendered people in terms of the civil rights battles of roughly fifty years ago.
People my age and younger consider the fact that it took until 1964 to secure full voting rights for African Americans as unthinkable and alien as a concept. With the heat of that time extinct, the matter boils down to the fact that a basic human right was being denied a major swath of the population for indefensible reasons. People like George Wallace and his views can now be seen as siding on the wrong side of history.
Taking that issue in mind and juxtaposing it against the present day, I suspect by the time I am an older adult that the passionate both sides take in terms of l/g/tg orientation and acceptance will cool and progress will have been cemented for this group of people.
I support this point of view by pointing out the polarization between age groups on this issue: in Canada, people under 35 are more much more predisposed to accepting gays, lesbians and trans-gendered people. People over sixty? Not so much.
This would suggest that by the time I'm a geezer, it'll all be a moot point.
Lastly, I applaud you, David for bringing this up in this forum. I also acknowledge the massive spectrum of feeling out there for this issue, and that though I take a certain position, I am not insensitive to those of others.
Yesterday, the front page story in the star was of a United Church minister who discovered after years of marriage, which included having a family, that he was really more comfortable as a woman. He came out to his family and to the two congregations that he served. He no longer serves the Wolfe Island congregation, but continues to serve his other church, however the congregation has become smaller. Also, the OWN network last night had on the story of Chas, Sonny and Cher's "daughter" Chastity, who also trans-gendered this time from female to male.
I'm now in the over 60 group, as Ian calls us, and I would agree that it is much harder for us to not necessarily accept, but understand these issues. That being said, articles and programs like the ones I mentioned above, do help us to become more aware of how people struggle with their sexuality. They also help to give we, who did not grow up with these issues so openly discussed and dealt with as they are today, an opportunity to become more aware and understanding.
It can be an emotional issue. I remember the congretional meeting at St-Pauls a few years ago, and the off topic direction it took.
I wasn't surprised. I am disappointed that there are a few people that have not been back since that meeting.
I'm not under 35 or over 60. I'm in the starting to turn grey area. Kids will do that.
I keep an open mind on this issue because my kids are not fully grown yet, and who knows what their "orientation" will be. What ever it is I will continue to love them.
Also we have a number of friends that have come out over the years. I've even been to a same sex wedding. It's different, and I probably made a few cracks about the number of women with short hair in sport jackets, but why should I be uncomfortable. If that's who they are, that's who they are. I just want them to be happy in the life God has given them.
I met a person recently who shared her story about becoming a woman after being a man for all her life. She is a minister in a congregation in Toronto and, at the time, she was looking forward to her first Sunday as a woman in the pulpit. I'm not sure how it went, but her story was fascinating. I learned a lot from her.
Since joining the United Church, I have had my eyes open to GLBTQ issues and I have some very good friends who have dealt with oppression and discrimination because of who they choose to love. I also hope that one day, our children will look back and wonder how this could have ever been a problem.
It is the heart and soul that matters - not l/g/tg.
I appreciate all of your perspectives and the honesty. I have mentioned before that our three twenty-something kids see this an issue of equality and Christian inclusivity. Their perceptions and inclusion in integrated in their lives and relationships, whereas many of us who are a generation older have made shifts that are "in progress."
Again, thank you.
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