This morning the radio reminded me of International Women's Day. Sometimes these important celebrations and commemorations sneak up on me, and while I have already blogged for today I will add some thoughts.
First of all, I am grateful that our two lovely daughters, both in their mid-twenties, along with our daughter-in-law, have grown up in this wonderful country. They believe they are persons of worth and they not only have access to higher education, they have excellent health care and are protected by the law. While there is still a gap in pay for women and men, it has been closing during their lifetimes. Our daughters have grown up in a Christian denomination which sees women as equals, and know women clergy.
They also admire their mother and her important work with a women's shelter. But there is the shadow side. Yesterday Ruth spent the day in court with a woman who needed her support. I am still shocked by stories of psychological and physical abuse which hardly seem possible in this country. I am dismayed to hear of clergy colleagues from other traditions who encourage women to stay in or return to abusive situations because it is "God's will."
I have also continued to follow the inquiry into the debacle of policing in Vancouver, where dozens of women were murdered by Robert Pickton, in part because the disappeared were sex workers and aboriginal, therefore not really considered of consequence. My cousin Pauline, aboriginal but adopted as a child, worked those streets during the time of those murders, so I can't help but pay attention. Yesterday Robyn Gervais (above) the lawyer for the aboriginal women quit because after 36 days of testimony not one woman has been invited to the stand. She says that she won't continue against the phalanx of lawyers working on behalf of the police.
We can be thankful for the rights of women in this country, but we sure aren't where we need to be yet. We can continue to work and pray for justice.
What are your thoughts on International Women's Day.
I've lived a sheltered life thus far. I've heard many stories of abusive relationships, but have been fortunate enough to have never experienced it 1st hand. That is until recently.
ReplyDeleteAt a my step son's hockey game, that I almost never missed for as long as he has played. I happened to be standing close to his father. I gave up on small talk years ago, and there has been no negative contact for many years. We just don't have anything to say to each other, and have kept out of the others business.
For reasons yet unclear to me he leaned over and delivered a message so emphatically delivered that I had to move to the other end of the rink to avoid any escillation of the situation.
To paraphrase it was you better not mess with my kids stuff or else!
What are you talking about?
You know what I mean you liar!
He was slightly more specific, and added more words that are not for this blog, but I really don't know what specifically he was reffering to. There was just such a look in his eyes that if I stood my ground it would have gotten messy.
I've spent too much time considering the situation after the fact. I've thought about calling and having a conversation to try and find the root of the problem. But I also know that you can't reason with unreasonable people.
There was another person in the middle of the exchange (literally).
A person who has always given the benefit of the doubt, and tried to be impartial. When he tried to diffuse the situation he was told to mind his business or else!
Again this is the short version.
I can't imagine how the day to day challanges my wife and I have would look if I were to approach the money spent on grocerise that way.
Ruth.
God bless you and the work you do. God bless, and protect those who need you. Lord help those who lack control of their anger.
I'm glad I look back at blogs from time to time. Your description is chilling sjd because it outlines the mindset of many of those who are abusers. They are angry people who are quick to blame others for problems, real or imagined, and chose not to look in the mirror. Being a man in a public place you escaped his wrath, although your choice to step away was wise. In the privacy of the home with a physically weaker woman too many of these guys become violent.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that prayer, in all its thoughts.