I have presided at somewhere between four and five hundred funerals through the years and I have concluded that death is something to be avoided if possible. Wait, that's isn't possible. I don't mean to be glib, and I do trust in the new life Christ offers, but dying can be heart-wrenching and loss can be crushing for all involved, no matter how strong our faith.
Today I will conduct the memoral service for another man I liked a great deal. I will describe him as a gentleman, a term which has fallen out of common use -- are there just fewer of those honourable, kindly guys these days?
The last week of his life Frank was in the critical care unit of the local hospital. It was tough, but he knew his family and friends almost to the end and they surrounded him in love. They even substituted whisky for water to swab his lips and tongue, which made a lot of sense for an old Scot!
The hospital staff were remarkable, attending to the needs of body, mind, and spirit for Frank and his family. I told them how impressed I was by their thoughtfulness and care.
It happened that I was able to see him every day during the week, something I'm not always able to do. Beth, our pastoral care worker went as well. I read scripture and prayed with him and we were able to talk together.
They called me from the hospital the morning of his death and I responded immediately, again not always possible. Within minutes of my arrival his breathing slowed and then stopped. It was perhaps the most gentle departure I have ever witnessed, and there have been a few.
I don't think I could define "a good death" but I know one when I see one.
Any thoughts about death and dying? Have you participated in a "good death?" Does the prospect of dying scare you?
That is alot of funerals, and your strong and caring leadership of such services is evident of all that experience.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I am afraid of dying itself, but I do fear the loss for my kids should it happen while they are still young.
I tend to feel more "afraid" of loved ones dying, and having to live without them.
Scares the hell out of me. All of it.
ReplyDeleteI saw my uncle die with dignity two years ago, and an old friend was taken too soon at Christmas at only 33 years of age. Both shocked me into really striving to live each day to the fullest ... something I thought I was already doing, but which now has this almost wild sense of urgency to it, given what happened to the two gents I just mentioned.
Just gives me the willies thinking about it ... all the moreso since I became a parent.