Earlier this week I made a final visit before my departure from St. Paul's to a lovely elderly woman who is living with cancer. At times in the past few months we wondered if she was not long for this world, and she decided to stop chemotherapy. She has rebounded remarkably though, and while she can't be cured, she has quality of life right now.
Her children and a daughter-in-law are very attentive. A daughter has taken several months of leave from her demanding job to be a caregiver, although her mother's respite from the worst of the illness means that she will return to work at the beginning of May. I asked whether she is taking advantage of the Compassionate Care Benefit Program and she is. Still, she says the system is not all that easy to navigate and she works in the healthcare system.
Today is National Caregivers Day and while this year the focus is support for those with Alzheimers disease I hope we say a prayer for all those are in the rather thankless role of providing support for loved ones. We have an elderly man in the congregation whose life is essentially devoted to the care of his wife, who has dementia, and he does so without fanfare. We have a number of members who are "sandwiched" between their family responsibilities and care for elderly parents. More often than not these are women in the lead roles and the burden is heavy. Seldom do they complain, but I see the toll the responsibility takes.
I would appreciate hearing comments about caregiving, especially from those who are on the frontlines. God bless all of you are living out your Christian compassion in this way.
4 comments:
I was my Mom's caregiver last year when she broke her collar bone. She had lots of complications and it was a long road back for her. I found it exhausting, tiring and an emotional road on one hand but on the other hand I felt blessed to be able to care for her.
This past month and for a few months to come, I am on the other side. I broke my right elbow in 3 places and badly sprained my left elbow. Being one that relies on my caregivers doesn't come easy to me. But being pretty helpless teaches a person a lot. I am very thankful to my husband and mother for being wonderful caregivers.
I would rather be the caregiver then the patient!
I admire the system in Australia and in England that the caregiver receives a decent wage from the government.
Interesting that you have been in both roles Laurie, and that the mom you cared for has now cared for you (again!)
I listened to someone on the radio asking why our society pays for parental leave but only minimally for care leave.
I hope your recovery is going well. Patience!
When I left the paid workforce over 15 years ago to care for my kids full-time, it was privilege I knew to have that option. That decision became a double blessing for me as my parents health deteriorated. As our kids were becoming a little more independent my parents were becoming less able to be independent and I was able to support them on their journeys through grieving the loss of health and maneuvering the healthcare maze. I cannot speak to the balance of full-time work and caregiving except to know it would challenge both physical and emotional stamina to their limits.
Caregiving for loved ones is absolutely a sacrifice. Whether it be wages, time, energy,career advancement, relationships, personal health, it comes at an expense.
As Laurie said, the journey as a caregiver has many rewards also....often not clear until that journey ends, either through return to health or death.
Being in the sandwich generation as parents health fails is a real challenge and will be a growing problem to society as our baby boomers age. Sounds like Australia and England are moving in the right direction in financially supporting those who choose this role.
The Maundy Thursday ritual of Jesus washing his disciples feet speaks volumes to me on our call to be caregivers in his humble act of caring for another in their most basic, primal needs. No glory,no pay, no acknowledgement of benefit to societal goals just pure love of another.
Thanks for your personal perspective Laura, and for making the connection with Maundy Thursday.
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