During this time away from work I have been aware of a terrible human and ecological tragedy which has unfolded in a small Quebec town most of us had never heard of before. One night an unmanned , runaway train derailed in Lac Megantic and the subsequent explosion killed almost fifty people, some of them sound asleep. For some reason I couldn`t get enough information about what was unfolding and sought out news even when we were in a remote ``off the grid`` spot for a few days. I was curious and horrified and deeply saddened. Part of it was the suddenness of disaster visited upon these innocent folk, in what would normally be a peaceful and safe setting. And then there were the survivors, the ones who were spared, including a guy who stepped out of the restaurant and bar for a smoke, only to see the building explode in flames.
A couple of weeks after Lac Megantic CBC radio interviewed three people who survived horrific circumstances: a mom whose son was not killed when his high school basketball team was virtually wiped out in an accident, a woman who was rescued from her car in a pile-up where a fourteen-year-old girl was incinerated beside her, and a worker in one of the New York towers of 911 who escaped even as he rescued others.
They talked about survivor guilt, the trauma of living when others perished. The 911 hero talked about the importance of living fully as a tribute to those who died, and choosing acts of kindness as a way of being. I was touched by the insights of all of them, and it made me think of the times when I have wondered why I have been spared the deep pain so many of those in congregations have suffered. Life can seem so arbitrary and unfair, and yet we want to find meaning in the sadness and loss. I have discovered through the years that faith has been so important to people, as is finding a new purpose and focus. I suppose I have experienced my own form of survivor guilt at times but I am grateful for the lessons in living those who have chosen to carry on with dignity have provided.
Were you shaken by the Lac Megantic tragedy. Have you lived through a terrible loss or hardship. Have you ever felt guilty that you were spared what others endured.
Yes, yes and yes - survivor guilt after a loved one took their own life, the counselling I attended was most helpful. I have also felt a twinge of survivor guilt when my job remained intact and others lost theirs to restructuring, others may have felt the same when I lost my job for the same reason 9 years later. However, seeing my Grandmother go through the guilt after losing her 3 daughters to the Big C was hard to take, she kept saying why not me and why them, now that was hard. I pray for these survivors as they make their way through the process.
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