A couple of nights ago we watched a 2012 film called What Maisie Knew, an adaptation and modernization of the serialized novel of the same name by 19th century author Henry James. Maisie is a little girl, played brilliantly by Onate Aprile, who is caught in the tug-of-war between two separated, then divorced parents. There are the loud arguments between mom and dad, then the court battles for custody, then the recrimination and bitterness over who does what and when. Young Maisie is far more mature than her self-absorbed parents, although the moments when she just wants to be a child are touching.
The twist of the story is that the new partners of the warring parents are far more loving and attentive to Maisie than her biological mother and father. I won't spoil the story, but what Maisie seems to know is that love is not arrogant or rude, it is not boastful or jealous, it is not irritable or resentful. Didn't the apostle Paul say something along those lines?
Through the years I have been both witness and companion for families going through break-ups, and sadly, these family dissolutions get messy. Often the parents are determined to take the high road, only to get mired in the muck. And yes, there are occasions when the parents are far more childish than their children.
I am, bye the way, a "child" of divorce. The separation was when I was a teen and it was hard on us all. I'm glad my mother could maintain her spiritual compass and not descend into bitterness.
Have you seen the film? We certainly recommend it. Have you lived the story, or know folk who have?
The film sounds intriguing
ReplyDeleteI too am a byproduct of divorce as is my wife I think that is what drives us to be better partners although we are a long way form breaking the anniversary record of 67 years by my grandparents we are coming up on 29 years and we surpassed both the years our parents were married. My parents divorce was quiet no real bitterness on the outside but for me as i was the one who caught my father in the act of infidelity it has seriously hut our relationship as i am still looked on as the guy who couldn't keep my nose out of his business it is unfortunate i feel i am over it but alas he chooses to feel that way divorce is a funny thing and its the ones on the outside that seem to suffer more..
Have not seen the film - have lived the story - as has my son, Dave - his dad left us when Dave was a year old - I did not remarry til he was 11 - it was difficult for me as a single parent - especially when dad didn't show up for a scheduled visit.
ReplyDeleteBlending a family (Bob had 2 sons) was another kind of challenge altogether - but I think we did a pretty good job of it.
For a Christian raised in an evangelical church, divorce was about as terrible as any "sin" could be and folk were very willing and ready to lay blame ... (It wasn't til after I had been married to Bob over ten years that I realized the marriage break up was not because there was something wrong with me!) You would have to talk to my son to find out how he felt about it over the years ... (He has certainly been a good son and a great support to me, as have my two stepsons since Bob passed away) they all seem to have very good marriages and family lives now....I can only say that Bob and I knew, when we married, that we had to work hard to make this blended marriage work - all 3 of our boys had lost a parent (Bob's first wife passed away at age 37, lost to cancer) - we were very blessed to have the support of good friends in our church and on our school staffs... and a lot of respect for each other's gifts, in this "equal partnership", where neither of us was the "head " of the household - it was shared.
Really liked that movie
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