R. Incognito, 2nd from left, J. Martin, 3rd from left
I have heard Barbara Coloroso, the author of the book The Bully The Bullied And The Bystander. I went with my wife Ruth to get a better understanding of the dynamics of bullying and why we often stand by while it happens. I have been part of discussions with youth workers and ministerial colleagues about the bullying young people undergo, sometimes because of their faith. It can be terribly isolating and even lead to suicide.
A recent case of alleged bullying in the National Football League reminds us that it can happen to anyone, anywhere. Jonathan Martin of the Miami Dolphins left the team over the relentless bullying of teammate Richie Incognito. Both of these guys weigh in at over 300 pounds and they play in a tough, punishing game. Incognito has a history of violent outbursts and erratic behaviour, but he is talented, so he keeps getting hired by teams. Messages left by Incognito for Martin included racist slurs. Incognito and other teammates actually invited Martin to sit at their table for a meal, then got up and left when he joined them. Shades of high school. It is pathetic there, and in this situation.
Of course some of Incognito's other teammates defend him, and the NFL doesn't know what to do. Incognito is suspended, but he will be back, while Martin's choice will probably end his pro career. After all, you can't be a sissy and take your concerns public.
We know what a serious problem this is, but what can we do? I'm interested to know if you have experiences of bullying, or see it with the children and youth with whom you work. Any other thoughts or comments?
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