A few years ago I took a ministry colleague out for lunch shortly after his retirement. He was and is such a gracious man, serving his denomination and various congregations with dedication for a lifetime. I asked him which congregation he planned to make his church home now that he had hung up the collar. He admitted that he was thinking about taking a sabbatical from congregational life for a while. It was not the answer I expected, yet I felt an immediate affinity.
I am now serving in my sixth and probably final pastorate. With only one exception they have been positive experiences. And even in that situation there were many tremendous human beings, some of whom I still correspond with from time to time. I feel that I have learned to be a better Christian as I pastored others who have been faithful disciples. Some of these people have been very old and some very young. They have inspired me and changed me. Now I have come to a new place and have quickly come to admire lots of Christ's faithful all over again.
That said, there is a lot about congregational life --any congregation- from which I will happily leap and dance and skip away. There are lots of activities which are tedious and have more to do with social convention than faithful living. We get so fixated on buildings and the stuff which goes in them, and that is a form of idolatry. We are inclined to show too much deference to the mean and the mouthy, instead of telling this small minority to put a cork in it or ship out. Why oh why do we allow them such power? In other words, the church can be tediously like the world whose values we say we want to counter with Christ's love and compassion. A sabbatical after retirement sounds like a plan.
Enter Anne Lamott and her new book, Stitches. A review by Debra Bendis mentions an anecdote in the book where Lamott compares the church to a darning egg and mending a hole. A darning egg is an object that a sewer puts into the ankle of a sock to hold the fabric taut. Church, Lamott says, is like a darning egg, giving us “a shape to work against”:
Darning is to send parallel threads through the damage in socks and sweaters, in and out, in and out, back and forth, over and under, and somehow, you have a piece of fabric again—such as the heel of a sock, that’s good enough again, against all odds.
I like it. Some congregations are more '"darn" that sock, it seems to me, and may not hold up much longer, but it is Christ the seamtress --seamster?- who holds us together despite our tattered, loose ends. I suppose we are both holy and holey. I may hang around, when all it said and done.
What do you think? Done with church? Hanging in there, raggedy edges and all? Do you like Lamott's imagery?
Some congregation members feel the same at times...I like Lamott's imagery - we all need regular and/or constant "darning" - but not damning!
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question... why do we allow them such power and show deference? Could it be that when they verbalize and we don't we believe them to have stronger convictions than we do and therefore if they "feel more" and are able to vocalize their feelings they must be worth listening to?? I have often walked out of a board meeting thinking why didn't I speak up but then again, why didn't someone else?? Yes, congregational life often mirrors society and sometimes we tend to ignore rather than confront and sometimes we view these people as well intentioned and respected. I have voiced my opinions even if they fell on deaf ears. However, for the most part I will take the raggedy edges and all over walking away.
ReplyDeleteSqueaky wheel gets the grease. That is how society works. We react to what is being said, as opposed to being pro-active.
ReplyDeleteWe often hear the words "this is the way we've always done it".
In my experience Squeeky usually wants to go back to their comefort zone.
It is important to speak out. To present new ideas. To challenge the status quoe even if it means stepping out of your comefort zone.
I like being part of a larger group, and I can understand the need for a break after being emmersed in it for such a long time.
Darn it all, you're answers are good! Thanks to a couple of folk who emailed as well.
ReplyDelete