The Dark Side of Memory

I'll tread softly with such a sensitive subject, but I found this article written by someone who has addressed the false memory of suppressed sexual abuse to be powerful.http://www.salon.com/2010/09/20/meredith_maran_my_lie_interview/

I know that there are people who have lived through childhood abuse which in some circumstances has been pushed into the shadowy corners of their existence in order to survive. I have pastoral experience with individuals where I am convinced that abuse took place. I have a trusted colleague who wrote a book on her experience which is as much a story of forgiveness as abuse.

I also know that others have been coached to "remember" what isn't there, or are troubled enough that they become convinced of non-existent abuse.

In one congregation an elderly couple invited me to their home to share the devastating news that the husband had been accused of abuse by one of their three daughters. Everyone else in the family, including the other two daughters, were convinced that it couldn't have happened, in part because of the character of the father, but also because the circumstances of the abuse just didn't add up. The dad opened the door one evening to police officers who were there to arrest and take him away to be charged. He was released on bail but the humiliation and anguish were overwhelming. Several months later the daughter withdrew the accusations as suddenly as she had made them, but tremendous harm was done to the family.

In another instance a father of a teen received word of allegations which were being investigated by police. He came to me absolutely stunned and heart-broken. The daughter had been living with her mother after a divorce but he kept in daily contact and had what he thought was a warm and loving relationship. During the time of the investigation he could barely function because of his grief and the prospect that he would lose his job and even go to jail. In this case the accusations were found to be groundless, with some of them supposedly occurring when he was on the other side of the country and could give full account of his whereabouts. Despite being exonerated he knew that he could never have a normal relationship with her again.

I could actually give other examples.

It's scary that this became such a prevalent subject for a time and then seemed to virtually disappear. It's difficult to know if publicity was part of the reason but it would seem so. And anger and confusion can also create tremendous misplaced pain.

Have you heard of this, either the reality or the false memory of abuse?