Our God-given Essence

On Monday I presided at the funeral of a man who had slipped into the unfair netherworld of Alzheimer's a number of years ago and was barely aware in the past two years of those closest to him. I didn't know him at all, but the substantial congregation did, and it was obvious that he was loved by family and friends.

There is a first for everything, and one of the speakers in the service was a woman who became friends with the widow as they visited their husbands in the nursing home. Her reflection was on the elements of the deceased man's generous, gracious character, even in the throes of dementia. Her words were very thoughtful and a reminder that even when a person is "gone" he or she is often still present.

I have experienced this many times with those who have various forms of dementia. They may not know a single name, or truly recognize even their closest loved ones, yet they still exhibit those unmistakable elements of their essential selves. I was glad for the speaker's reminder yesterday, not just for the man to whom we said farewell, but for so many.

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