Domestic Abuse & the NFL

Josh Gordon is a star player in the National Football league and he will not play a single game this season because he smoked marijuana. He has received a full-season suspension for a second drug offence.

Ray Rice is a star player in the National Football League and he will miss two games because he beat up his fiancé and then dragged her unconscious body from an elevator.

Does that seem fair to you? Does it appear that the NFL takes domestic violence seriously? It sure doesn't seem that way to me. A lot of commentators have noted the disparity and that driving under the influence gets a bigger suspension in the league than pounding on your partner. Because of the indignation, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has admitted that they "got it wrong" and announced that the revamped penalty is six games for a first offence and a lifetime ban for a second. This makes a lot more sense, and admitting that the Rice fine was a travesty was also good. And Rice did make a public apology, with his partner at this side.

It does make it painfully obvious that sports culture, and our society in general has a long way to go in its response to domestic violence.

When we lived in Bowmanville my wife Ruth worked at a shelter for abused women and children as a counselor. I could hardly believe some of the horror stories she told me and I became very aware that abuse can affect anyone, no matter their status. Now Ruth works as a court reporter and spends some of her time in Family Court hearing similar stories.

Sadly, churches can be the last institutions to address these issues and in some cases encourage women to stay in dangerous situations because of the promises they made before God in marriage. What about the promises the guys made? Over the years Ruth did counsel women from a number of local congregations who realized that they didn't have to accept abuse. It is difficult though, because of the shame, the prospect of economic hardship, and fear of retribution.

We need to remind women and men that God's intention for faithfulness requires mutual love and respect and never expects one partner to be in danger because of the anger of another. There is always the possibility for forgiveness and reconciliation, but the mindset of our society still has a long way to go.

Thoughts?