The Good Funeral

I attended a funeral service two days ago that was about as good as it gets, given that a lovely and respected person had died. Well, I didn't just attend the service. I presided, which makes it sounds like the cook who praises his or her meal. I better explain.

The person we came to honour had taken the brave step to have me come to visit her for the purpose of planning her service. She also had Terry, our music minister, come to see her as well. We wrote everything down, then the negotiations began in a number of areas with the input of her three supportive daughters.

The service was in the Bridge St. sanctuary and there were somewhere between 150 and 175 people in attendance, all of whom had great admiration for Jean. We sang hymns and we listened to scripture and both were just right for this time of worship. A friend read a passage, while our pastoral care minister, Rev. Vicki, read and prayed. Both did so with meaning. The choir sang an anthem which by coincidence or providence was On Eagles Wings, the 91st psalm. That was the last passage of scripture I read to Jean before her death in her own home, and her daughters told me that was her last moment of coherence.

Rather than a raft of speakers one daughter spoke on behalf of the family and her remarks were funny and poignant and exuded love. There were tears and laughter in the service, and in the end we commended Jean to God's care and affirmed the goodness of her life and the promise of resurrection life.

What happened was worship. For me it was deeply satisfying, the very heart of ministry and Christian community. There seem to be too many "let's get 'er done" funerals and memorials these days and most clergy I know just don't want to be involved in these. But the other day I was thankful for my calling as Christ's servant, and yet so much of what happened had nothing to do with me.  

Have you planned your funeral? Do you experience the difference in services when thought has been given to what will happen?