There have been many sad experiences in ministry over the course of thirty-five years and I have ended up presiding at the funerals and memorials of so many people I have admired and loved. I thank God that I only had to do so for a teen once, a young man who was killed in a snowmobile accident, along with two others.
Of course this was a sudden and tragic death. I can't imagine being the pastor for a young adult who was diagnosed with a terminal illness and walking with them until the end. How are the decisions made at the end of life for young people and who makes them?
I read a piece in the New York Times recently about young people who are dealing with serious and sometimes terminal illnesses. One of them is the young woman with the mask in the photo above is Karly Koch and as you can see she is involved in a Christian community. She is a college student from Muncie, Ind., has been treated for many serious illnesses, including Stage 4 lymphoma, all related to a rare genetic immune disorder. Her older sister, Kelsey, died of the condition at 22. Last spring, Karly, then 19, developed congestive heart failure. Her renal arteries were 90 percent blocked. As Karly lay in intensive care at the National Institutes of Health, a psychotherapist who had worked with the family for years approached her mother, Tammy, with a new planning guide called Voicing My Choices. The family did not have resources to plan with Kelsey so ended up making decisions without a clear directive. They welcomed the opportunity to use this new resource.
Some of Voicing My Choices is about medical decisions such as pain management. Another section asks about comfort. Favorite foods? Music? When visitors arrive, one option could be: “Please dress me, comb my hair and do whatever else is needed to help make me look like myself.” I'm impressed to see that the guide also asks, what gives you strength or joy? What do you wish to be forgiven for? And who do you wish to forgive?
What do you think about a guide such as this one? Do you wonder, as I do, that something like this hasn't been created before now?
http://www.agingwithdignity.org/catalog/nonprintpdf/Voicing_My_Choices.pdf
1 comment:
What a great idea ... I would hope family of teens with terminal illnesses would be open to using this guide and having that discussion with the teen, and not be in denial to the point where no decisions are allowed.
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