Today I'll drive to Amherstview to see my wonderful old mother at her assisted living residence for the final time. My brother Eric will be there as well, and we'll have lunch together before moving her to a nursing home in Napanee. Her Parkinson's and other laments have taken their toll on her body and her mind, although her spirit has endured.
Eric has rented a vehicle with a lift for her wheelchair so that he can be the driver (he does this for a living) and he'll take her along the waterfront route between the communities. He figures that this might be her last opportunity given that her health is so fragile. He's likely correct on this. We rarely get her out the door anymore, even to the patio at her residence.
The nursing home in Napanee is one of the best around and we feel very fortunate that this has worked out. Eric lives near her current location and stops in to see her several times a week. I honestly feel that his constant presence has made a difference with staff and Mom's social worker. They see him bringing in a bag of clean laundry, he has a sense of humour, and he chats with them.
With the demands of the workload for these unsung heroes it probably helps to see a family member who is attentive and asks the right questions without being demanding. We're both very impressed by the folk at Helen Henderson in Amherstview. I'm not there as often, living farther away, although we've met with administrators and nurses and the social worker together. Our wives are so kind to Mom as well and both have gone in to see her on their own.
I saw Mom last week, with Eric, and it was a good day for her. She picked up on humour and stayed with the conversation. Once again I read scripture and prayed. When I was done she smiled and said that it was good to be visited by a minister.
Both of us struggle with the decline we see and we wish this move didn't have to happen. This will be the third place she's lived in 2017 in the midst of deepening dementia. Life isn't always fair, that's for sure.
Keep Mom and all of us in your prayers please. I know that many of you have gone through similar experiences with aging loved ones.
You are definitely in my prayers, David, and your family. It is very difficult to see a loved one declining.... God be with you as you walk this road.
ReplyDeleteThanks Judy. We were so impressed with the immediate care and attention Mom received upon her arrival at the John Parrott Centre for the Aged in Napanee. Six staff came by within 45 minutes & by that evening the gerentologist had made adjustments to the balance of her medications, JP is a lovely facility, clean, and well-laid out. There are glass memory boxes built into the wall outside the room of each resident into which they can put curios and personal momentoes. These challenges are tough, but this is as soft a landing as we could hope for.
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