Yesterday two men were in Canadian courts, both of whom admitted to acts which killed many people. One, Bruce McArthur did so with evil intent and will surely spend the remainder of his life in prison -- we can only hope so. The other had no intent to harm others yet his inattention and admitted negligence as a truck driver resulted in the deaths of sixteen people, most of them young, none of them deserving to die in such a fashion. Not only did they die, many more were grievously injured, and families and friends have been wounded forever.
A court is now into the sentencing phase for the driver, Jaskirat Singh Sidhu, and it will take several days because dozens of victim impact statements will be read in the his presence. We know that one parent labeled him a monster in her statement and stated that she despised him. While it occurs to me that this description better suits serial killer McArthur it isn't my place to claim what a distraught parent should or shouldn't say.
Darcy and Christina Haugan and children
There are others, including the wife of coach Darcy Haugan of the Humboldt Broncos, who took the opportunity to speak of forgiveness. CTV News reported Christiana Haugan's statement this way:
"Jaskirat, your actions while I believe to not be intentional were still incredibly negligent and irresponsible. You had a weapon in your hands in the form of a steering wheel," she said in her victim impact statement.
But the Christian faith she shared with her husband calls for her to look beyond her grief, she said. "I want to tell you I forgive you," she said. "I have been forgiven for things when I didn't deserve it, so I will do the same."
The CTV piece was appropriately titled Mercy or Monster.
We can't tell others to forgive, nor should we judge those who choose not to, or simply can't. I do admire those who want to begin a journey toward a release of anger through forgiveness, knowing that it may be a roller coaster of emotions for years as they do so. Christina Haugan and others who expressed forgiveness may be naming what they don't yet actually feel as one of the steps. I know what I would hope for myself in similar circumstances, but I have struggled with forgiveness for far lesser grievances through the years.
We can pray for all those who are mustering the courage to address the court in these difficult days, and in the process of healing for body, mind and spirit.
Thoughts?
2 comments:
I agree, that monster who killed all those men in Toronto should never get released. As for the truck driver, while what he did was incredibly negligent with horrific consequences, at least he did the right thing by pleading guilty and sparing the families a trial. Perhaps by doing that, he made it more palatable to be forgiven. I do admire those who can forgive - I don't know if I'd be able to do it if I were in their situation. I know it's a healthier thing to do, so perhaps by thinking you're forgiving someone in order to help yourself, it becomes an easier choice to make.
Thich Nhat Hanh speaks of the destructive power of anger as burning down your own house to harm a neighbour. Forgiveness is worthwhile for one's self, but can also be for the offender, especially if he or she is seeking reconciliation. I was moved to hear that one father met with the truck driver during a break and they talked, cried, and hugged, Does that take away the pain of the father or the responsibility of the driver? No, but it might bring some peace and healing. Thanks for the comments Roger.
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