Mrs. Doubtfire and the Family Ties that Bind

1 Would you bless our homes and families,
  Source of life who calls us here;
 in our world of stress and tension
  teach us love that conquers fear.
 Help us learn to love each other
  with a love that constant stays;
 teach us when we face our troubles,
  love's expressed in many ways.

2 When our way is undemanding,
  let us use the time that's ours
 to delight in simple pleasures,
  sharing joys in gentle hours.
 When our way is anxious walking
  and a heavy path we plod,
 teach us trust in one another
  and in you, our gracious God.

Would You Bless Our Homes and Families Voice United 556

On this Family Day holiday weekend in Ontario we've had the pleasure of spending time with our three adult children, their partners, and our three grandchildren. On Saturday there was a "sliding party" (how Canadian is that?) at the home of our older daughter, her husband and daughter, and the whole fam damily was present. The weather and snow cooperated and a good time was had by all.

When Ruth and I married a thousand years ago, essentially as kids, we had no way of predicting how life would unfold. We discovered we had different views on when we would have children, and how many, but it was sort of assumed we would eventually become parents. There was virtually no thought given to their sexual orientation as they grew up, or what they might choose in terms of relationships. Today, we are grateful that they find life meaningful and we delight in our grandchildren. God is good.

All this said, I got thinking about the nature of families during the last day. In the course of my lifetime the definition of a family -- usually a mom and pop nuclear family with children-- has certainly changed. In the 70's we became much more aware of single-parent families and the church figured out how not to be judgmental, although that is still a struggle in some expressions of the Body of Christ. In congregations I served there were adopted children from other cultures. We became more inclusive of children who lived with realities such as autism and Asperger's spectrum who might have been excluded from the church family in the past.

In the new millennium families have taken on different expressions, often with LGBTQ parents providing the loving shelter of family. Recently I heard a CBC Sunday Edition piece called The Mamas and the Papas about two couples, gay and lesbian, who have adopted together. It was a stretch for me, but I listened and learned. They sure sound like a loving family to me.


Strangely, the film Mrs. Doubtfire came to mind as I pondered family life this weekend. Now 25 years old -could it be?- it starred the hilarious Robin Williams as a dad who learns to be a caring father by impersonating an aging woman. Ya, highly improbable, yet it was both funny and thought-provoking, if rather sentimental. There was a fair amount of criticism of the film at the time for different reasons but it did invite people to stretch the notion of family.

Near the end Daniel/Mrs. Doubtfire gets a job as a children's show host and becomes quite successful. During one show he/she responds  

Mrs. Doubtfire: [reading the letter] Dear Mrs. Doubtfire, two months ago, my mom and dad decided to separate. Now they live in different houses. My brother Andrew says that we aren't to be a family anymore. Is this true? Did I lose my family? Is there anything I can do to get my parents back together? Sincerely, Katie McCormick. 
                        

Mrs.Doubtfire [responding on air]: Oh, my dear Katie. You know, some parents, when they're angry, they get along much better when they don't live together. They don't fight all the time, and they can become better people, and much better mummies and daddies for you. And sometimes they get back together. And sometimes they don't, dear. And if they don't, don't blame yourself. Just because they don't love each other anymore, doesn't mean that they don't love you.

 

There are all sorts of different families, Katie. Some families have one mommy, some families have one daddy, or two families. And some children live with their uncle or aunt. Some live with their grandparents, and some children live with foster parents. And some live in separate homes, in separate neighborhoods, in different areas of the country - and they may not see each other for days, or weeks, months... even years at a time. But if there's love, dear... those are the ties that bind, and you'll have a family in your heart, forever. All my love to you poppet, you're going to be alright... bye bye.

 

Not bad, really. Happy Family Day, whatever shape your family has taken. May the love of Christ embrace you.

 

3 From the homes in which we're nurtured,
  with the love that shapes us there,
 teach us, God, to claim as family
  every one whose life we share.
 And through all that life may offer,
  may we in your love remain;
 may the love we share in families
  be alive to praise your name.
 
4 Let us reach beyond the boundaries
  of our daily thought and care
 till the family you have chosen
  spills its love out everywhere.
 Help us learn to love each other
  with a love that constant stays;
 teach us when we face our troubles
  love's expressed in many ways.

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