Woman and Men in the 21st Century

Because I write a couple of blogs I get lots of email contacts from religious publishers asking if I would like to review books, as well as emails from other organizations with Christian leanings. Sadly, most of them are evangelical with a certain bias toward "traditionalism" while some are shockingly Islamaphobic or homophobic. The truly virulent ones I block or ask to be removed from their mailing lists. Others I allow because it gives me a window on a religious world I don't normally inhabit.

I received one a couple of days ago from someone named Sarah who was promoting Fascinating Womanhood for the Timeless Woman, the follow-up to a a book on a same subject which apparently sold five million copies.  The fascinating part of womanhood appears to be women making men feel good about themselves as a way to their own personal fulfilment. The author suggests five goals:

1. Appreciate his masculinity. 
2.  Let him be your hero. 
3.  Admire his accomplishments. 
4.  Be non-judgmental. 
5.  Stop trying to change him. 

This is wrong is so many ways. Now, I do figure that our marriage is stronger when we mutually support one another and judgmental attitudes can be toxic for any relationship. Still, there is a "Stepford Wives" feel to this, or at least June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver, circa 1960. 

Ruth, my wife worked for years as a counsellor for a womens' shelter and had far too many clients whose partners figured that their supposed masculinity gave them permission to be controlling and they were guys who really needed to change their behaviour. Often they were teaching their children, especially boys, that "real men" had permission to be abusive. 

What disturbs me is that this "make your man feel great and your relationship will be better" outlook is often considered biblical and Christian when it is actually disrespectful of women and too often dangerous. This is a book by a woman, pitched by a woman with a contact provided for a female publicist. Do they really believe this stuff is the way to a happy and mutually fufilling relationship? 

Could it be that we should follow Jesus' direction to love one another as he has loved us?