The Loss of a Beloved Congregational Elder

                          Mary Jo Smith -- November 10, 1934  -  October 13, 2022

Caim Prayer

Circle Mary Jo, Gracious God,

keep protection near

and danger afar. 

Circle Mary Jo, Healing God,

keep hope within,

keep despair without.

Circle Mary Jo, Caring God,

keep light near,

and darkness afar.

Circle Mary Jo, God,

keep peace within

and anxiety without.

May God, Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer

shield Mary Jo on every side. 

Amen.

 Four years ago, not long after we began attending Trenton United Church, I offered a study/discussion series on dementia called God in the Shadows.  I wanted to interview someone who had been a principle caregiver for a loved one and son Isaac, our pastor, suggested a woman who had been warm and welcoming when we arrived. Mary Jo agreed  and I shared the questions I would ask with her beforehand but it was still a signifcant request. She addressed those questions regarding care for her beloved late husband thoughtfully and with dignity. I was impressed by her courage in speaking about such a sensitve subject in front of others.  

She attended other study groups along the way and recently participated in our sessions on Medical Assistance in Dying. Early on in our first gathering she stated, straight-faced but with a twinkle in her eye, that she wasn't going to die. While this elicited chuckles from other participants I was aware that at times she was unsettled by the prospect of death because she was candid in admitting this. Afterward she spoke with me about  a neighbour who had just died. There wasn't going to be any sort of service or leave-taking. What was the state of that person's soul, she wondered. 

She was there for the second session of our MAID series as well and then on Thanksgiving Sunday morning we followed her into the church. Later that day she had a massive heart attack and died a few days later, never having recovered consciousness. Her memorial service will be held next week and attendees have been asked to wear bright clothing, according to her wishes.

Mary Jo was a lovely person with a sense of humour and an abiding faith. She was there for the worship services such as Maundy Thursday which weren't as well attended and wondered why others didn't show up. During the darker days of the pandemic she returned when the congregation was allowed to gather. After a sermon in which Isaac admitted that he'd been stopped and cautioned by police for speeding she confessed to him at the door that she was a "pedal to the metal" person on highway 401 herself -- at age 87! 

She had a circle of friends who enjoyed her company. Ruth and I were amlng those shaken when we heard of her heart attack and her death because we liked her a lot. 

At the beginning of our third session Isaac shared the news about her hospitalization with the group and I opened with the Caim or Circle prayer above, as I'd planned before this sad development. I hadn't been sure whose name I would use, but of course it was Mary Jo. 

While we'd probably all agree that living to nearly 88 was a "good run", as is sometimes said, and that she wouldn't want diminished final days, these rationaliziations don't really lessen our sense of loss. And while I'm also confident that Mary Jo is in God's eternal care and keeping she will certainly be missed in this life by her family and all who knew her.