Just Because I'm Paranoid...

 

This humorous saying has been attributed to everyone from Kurt Cobain to Joseph Heller to Woody Allen...hmm, a bunch of men. 

We're fortunate if we get through life without having moments or perhaps long periods where we feel beset by others and because of anxiety or depression we feel that it's us against our adversaries. For some mental health issues result in a lifetime of crippling  paranoia. Where do we turn in these dark moments? 

This week the daily lectionary readings offer two psalms, 86 and 13, which acknowledge that there are times in life when we are overwhelmed yet both call out for the strength and steadfast love which God can provide. 

I remember coming upon one of these psalms years ago when some church folk were determined to make my life hell. Many of the finest people I've ever met have been in congregations I've served. And sad to say, so have some of the cruelest and most devious. Often the latter were also cowardly so they weren't directly confrontational. While I learned to shrug off much of this, there were times when the nastiness "messed with my mind" even though it was always a small group or an individual who was responsible while the rest of the congregation was blissfully ignorant of what was happening. The whispers and barbs of a few were amplified in my heart and mind and it robbed me of joy and well-being. 

 I can remember where I was when I read that psalm and the reassurance I derived from reading it, realizing that for thousands of years individuals have struggled with the "ruffians" around them, and the hope that there was a greater power, a loving presence to carry them through. 

I hope that you aren't feeling beset or overwhelmed today but if you are, may the peace and love of Christ be with you. 

O God, the insolent rise up against me;
    a band of ruffians seeks my life,
    and they do not set you before them.
15 But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness.
16 Turn to me and be gracious to me;
    give your strength to your servant;
    save the child of your maidservant.
17 Show me a sign of your favor,
    so that those who hate me may see it and be put to shame,
    because you, Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Psalm 86:14-17 NRSVue