The Honesty of Elliot Page

I've written in the past about the most famous person to spend time in our basement without our being aware of the moment, admittedly a tiny category. When we lived in Halifax our daughters were tweens, then teens, and from time to time our family room was the staging point for groups of girls heading out for the evening. We found out much later that one of them was Elliot Page, the acclaimed actor who was our daughter Emily's age, although Elliot was attending a Buddhist school. Elliot was Ellen at that time and just beginning to get roles which eventually led to fame and fortune in films such as Juno, X-Men, and the series The Umbrella Academy. 

In 2020 Ellen publicly identified as Elliot, a transgender man, and has continued to act, notably making the transition in The Umbrella Academy. Now he has published a memoir called Pageboy which is getting a fair amount of attention. Here are some excerpts from a reflection on the book in the New York Times by Gina Chua:

Instead, as he details in a brutally honest memoir, “Pageboy,” his life story was marked by fear, self-doubt, U-turns, guilt and shame, before he ultimately seized control of his own narrative... fame didn’t free him to explore his identity; instead it trapped him into a role studios wanted him to play, offscreen as well as on, as an attractive young starlet.

Much of the memoir — told in non-sequential flashbacks and flash-forwards — centers on Page’s path to understand who he really was, against a backdrop of bullying, eating disorders, stalking, sexual harassment and assault. Page grew up in Nova Scotia, the child of divorced parents — a less than loving father and a mother hoping against hope for a more conventional child than the gender outlaw she seemed to be raising. “Can I be a boy?” Page asked his mother at the age of 6. He found escape in solitary play and a rich fantasy life that ultimately blossomed into a career as an actor. 

Page's personal story is intriguing for us because of the connection from the past but also because of a family member who is transgender. It is a blessing that she is supported by virtually everyone in our circle of family and friends and  and she has a circle of peers who accept her for who she is as well.

 She attends a attends a wonderfully inclusive school, which is Roman Catholic in a RC board which states that it is "deeply committed to supporting the dignity, worth, and safety of our 2SLGBTQI+ students...As Catholics, we believe that all people are made in the image and likeness of God..." Her family is part of a Protestant Christian congregation in which she is welcome and loved as well. 

Do we have concerns about the future as she moves toward maturity? Yes, and truth be told it is quite emotional for us at times. The review by Chua describes our apprehensions through her own experience and that of Page in the United States:

Page disclosed his transition in December 2020, a few weeks before I did the same. I suspect he, like me, had been prepared for a future where trans lives would be broadly accepted, or at least tolerated, albeit with sporadic incidents of hate. Both of us inhabit left-leaning spaces (media, movies) where the appearance of support is de rigueur. How could we have expected instead the tidal wave of anti-trans animus that is surging across the right, with hundreds of bills proposed — and some passed — in state legislatures that would in some cases bar adults from accessing trans care; undermine private insurance; allow medical personnel to discriminate against transgender patients; and restrict performances by drag performers and trans people, including possibly Page.

We are doing our best to stay in the moment, to express our love and acceptance day by day rather than look too far down the road. 

I'm grateful for the courage and example of people such as Elliot Page. Who knows how many lives will be saved as young trans people seek examples of those who have established new identities. 

 During this Pride Month I hope we are all committed to prayer and advocacy and making our own stances known.