God Bless The Caregivers

When my mother, Margaret Farmer (as she was then) was 19-years-old she entered training college to become a Salvation Army officer. Her graduating class chose the motto "Fearless" and while Mom chose to leave the Army within a few years the motto certainly applied to her life. She was a intelligent, faith-full woman who chose to leave an unhealthy marriage in her late forties. She established a career in travel that took her around the world and she was resourceful and fearless in her explorations.

Sadly, Parkinson's and the dementia which is often an aspect of the disease affected the last decade of her life. The digits of her age were reversed when she entered a nursing home a year ago at the age of 91. We had watched her go from being fearless to helpless and her physical and cognitive frailty meant that she was very dependent on the care of the staff in the John Parrott Centre in Napanee, Ontario. We were grateful that she settled in so well there and those who attended to her daily needs were wonderful.

Six weeks ago Mom decided that she just wasn't going to eat anymore and her physical decline led to confinement to bed. My brother Eric and I spent an increasing amount of time with her and we had an even closer opportunity to watch the staff provide care. What impressed us was the tenderness of the nurses, personal care workers, cleaners -- everyone involved with Mom. The excellent geriatrician is a male, but virtually everyone else is female. One PSW has been doing this work for 44 years yet still exhibits kindness and personal care.

Last evening at 7:30 Mom was "promoted to glory," to use the Salvation Army phrase. Her two sons and a daughter-in-law were by her side all during the day and as she took her final breaths. We were soon joined by staff who offered their consolation even as they addressed her death.

We are deeply grateful for this group of largely unsung heroes who manage to bring humanity to the work of caring for the elders of our society who are often vulnerable and frail. God bless them in their work. We will always be grateful.