Nova Scotia Mass Murder & Coercive Control

 Over the past few weeks we have been hearing the testimony of those who were impacted by the mass shooting in Nova Scotia which left 22 unsuspecting people dead and resulted in close calls with the gunman for dozens more. 

Early on in the inquiry the partner of the murderer told her story of that fateful night. She did so following negotiations to effectively drop criminal charges against her for procuring ammunition for her abusive partner. From the beginning we felt that treating her like a criminal was a travesty given that a number of people in their circle told of a volatile, menacing man who they feared. In the lead up and during her testimony we heard about "coercive control" by abusive partners which creates an ongoing terror within relationships. 

Ruth, my wife, saw that often with clients when she worked with as an outreach counsellor in a women's shelter. Not only were these women battered psychologically and physically, they were often cut off from family and friends and any other support, including their communities of faith. They did what they were told, when they were told, and the level of control meant that they gradually lost the ability to make independent decisions. Walking away from these situations was complicated and terrifying after lengthy periods of abuse and control,and even with support they were inclined to walk back to them for a variety of reasons. 

It is remarkable that this woman survived the murderer's fury but she will live with this trauma for the rest of her life. Part of that will be the prejudice and anger of those who have no idea of what she experienced in the years leading up to that night. 

The inquiry continues and we can hope that one of the outcomes will be recommendations about increasing resources and support for those who need to leave situations of partner violence. While Ruth was involved in this work for a decade a number of women from our congregation sought her out because of their personal situations or that of loved ones. So often people live in unacceptable situations under the veneer of respectability and they are anxious about judgement, even in their communities of faith. 

There was no education about this reality when I was in seminary and I wonder if that has changed. Ruth discovered that there was a fair amount of denial on the part of clergy when she would approach them about providing educational sessions and many of her co-workers had disdain for religious leaders whose views on the "sanctity of marriage" put women at greater risk. 

There is still so much to be done in society, for all we've learned along the way. Communities of faith from every religion need be at the forefront of solutions rather than part of the problem.