Dark Family Secrets & Alice Munro

 

                                                                   Alice Munro and daughters

After the death of Nobel Prize winning Canadian literary icon, Alice Munro, Ruth searched out several volumes of her short stories wondering what to read again. The accolades poured out from many sources and we heard from others in the world of literature about their admiration and respect.

Then a few days ago there was a piece in the Toronto Star which included a disturbing revelation by one of Munro's daughters, Andrea Robin Skinner. It was that Munro's second husband, Skinner's step-father, had sexually abused her, beginning at age nine. wrote her mother. When she was in her twenties Andrea wrote to mother Alice to inform her of what had transpired. The shock for those who had admired Munro to the point of reverence is that after a brief separation Munro got back together with husband and remained with him until his death, even though it meant being estranged from Andrea. 

The accuracy of Andrea Robin Skinner's accusation is not in dispute. Her step-father eventually admitted his crime and and in 2005 he pleaded guilty to one charge of indecent assault and was sentenced to two years probation. 

All over this country institutions are assessing what to do about teaching Munro's work and whether to continue programs named in her honour. There is also a lot of discussion about how biographies and articles could have been written about Alice Munro for so long, not to mention the Nobel Prize for Literature, without this terrible reality being revealed. It appears to be in the "open secret" category for those closer to her. 

This has caused me to ponder the many, many situations in congregations where I was privy to the dark secrets of families, often of those who were admired by those around them.I'm grateful that  I can't recall a situation where sexual abuse of children was a factor. But there were situations of physical and verbal abuse, addiction, financial malfeasance, family alienation, infidelity,  often well hidden from others. In the earlier years the alienation came about because of sexual orientation with persons shunned by their loved ones. I prayed for wisdom about what path I needed to follow, particularly when family dynamics appeared to threaten the wellbeing of children. 

What was most difficult was that people were often desparate for help yet didn't want others to know about what was going on in their households. When Ruth was an outreach worker in a Women's Shelter I would make referals and there were a number of parishioners who benefitted from her expertise. 

The fall-out from the news about Alice Munro will persist. We can certainly admire the courage of Andrea Robin Skinner and pray for her well-being in the midst of the media storm. We can also pray for those unknown to us who struggle in isolation or fear or in the grip of depression because of historical trauma or situations of the moment. 

r Mom,” it began. “Please find a spot alone before you read this … I have been keeping a terrible secret for 16 years, Gerry abused me sexually when I was nine years old.