Sandy Ovalle Martinez
Yesterday's Halloween was the first of a day-three Christian commemoration which includes All Saints (today) and All Souls (tomorrow.) Some denominations offer worship opportunities either on these days or on the nearest Sunday. Often those who have died in the past year are remembered and honoured.
In Latinx culture tomorrow is Dia de Muertos, Day of the Dead, and recently Sojourners Magazine published a reflection by Sany Ovalle Martinez with the title DÍA DE MUERTOS REMINDS CHRISTIANS TO GRIEVE:
Western Protestant Christianity mourns fast. It dislikes grief. Verses that that say not to “grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13) are often interpreted as guideposts to limit the length and depth of grief. We forget there are also verses like Psalm 34:18, where God “is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” The requirement here is that we are broken-hearted and crushed in spirit, that is, we carry the spirit of death. Growing up, we honored the death of my abuelita with a Mass followed by nine communal prayer sessions, and then a Mass once every month for the first year, and then a Mass once a year on the anniversary of her passing. Part of our grief was continuing to express love that we did not get to give. Día de Muertos is another opportunity to nourish the relationships we hold dearly.
Día de Muertos can also have a prophetic touch, shedding light on the horrors of current events, reminding the rich, powerful, and abusive that death is our common experience.
These thoughts on what can be unhealthy"fast grief" in what is often a death-denying culture as well as the collective grief we are feeling for the suffering of others and our planet are timely, to say the least.
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While in congregational ministry I saw how grief was different for everyone, even within families, and who was I to say with the timeline should be? Sometimes the profound sense of loss would linger for years, although individuals could be reluctant to admit it because there were friends encouraging them to "move on."
These holy days can remind us that grief is real and while we all hope for healing from our losses its okay to tend to our grief and to create the rituals and remembrances which will sustain us.
I still think that the animated film Coco was one of the most meaningful explorations of grieving and collective memory. Truly, Madly, Deeply was poignant as well.
You might be interested in reading all of the article from Sojourners:
https://sojo.net/articles/dia-de-muertos-reminds-christians-grieve
6 comments:
I first watched Coco last year with my great grandkids - I was worried it might be too scary for them, but they were fine with the story. Kids today seem to be accustomed to more scary things than I ever was as a child.
Thin places - hmmmm - I did experience something of this when my mother passed away and then when my late husband passed. It was not frightening for me, but rather, comforting and assuring.
Sometimes we walk away from a funeral and that could be the last time that people come together to remember that person. Wouldn't it be great if families and extended families and friends got together Nov 1-2 to honour the ones that have died.
In Mexico, there are a number of rituals around it including going to the graves and perhaps having a picnic, building shrines, telling anecdotes --- bringing them back into peoples' lives. Instead of being solitary in your missing of that person, you would share it and perhaps find some joy in thinking about the loved one in the company of others.
We've been there for the festival of Our Lady of Guadeloupe which is another the collective cultural experience, but not for the Day of the Dead --but I would love to experience it. KB
In latter pastorates -- after I departed St. As, Sudbury -- we included an annual remembrance of those from the congregation who had died in the previous year on the Sunday closest to All Saints/All Souls Day. We read their names and placed a red rose in a vase for each person, as well as one white rose to signify other losses. Families received a letter of invitation to the service and were encouraged to take the rose with them.
Thanks for your recollection about Mexico, Kathy, and yours, Judy.
I'm sure the families appreciated that opprtunity to remember David.KB
We did this again this past Sunday, David... very moving .
I'm glad the practice continues at Bridge St, Judy. We did the same at Trenton United.
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