Mr Bean & Toby the Devil

 

You are from your father the devil, and you choose to do your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning and does not stand in the truth because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks according to his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

           John 8:44 NRSVue

 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.  If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell. 

           Matthew 5: 27-30 NRSVue 

It was Mr. Bean's birthday earlier this week. Actually it was Rowan Atkinson's 71st birthday on January 5th, a fine age indeed, but many of us see him and immediately think Bean. Atkinson has entertained millions in a variety of comedic roles although he has also excelled in dramas including a fine turn as Maigret in a three-part series. 

He is also clever in a sketch where he is a chatty Devil, a sort of concierge for Hell who introduces himself as Toby. This Devil reminds the presumed newcomers to Hell in the audience that they are there for eternity and then gives them their assignments.

In the version of the sketch that I saw King Charles III and Queen Camilla are having a laugh in their special box,  although the jibe about fornicators may have made them a bit uncomfortable given that Charles is both a professed Christian and a former...well, you know. 

Perhaps not, though. Hell or Eternal Torment is no longer a concern for the vast majority of people, including Christians. Jesus did refer to Hell several times (see above), as well as  Hades, a sort of Hell Light, but he wasn't big on the subject. He was more focussed on the Kingdom of Heaven. 

                                                                 Hieronymus Bosch -- 15th C

Hell became much more prevalent in the Middle Ages as a tool of fear and control. I've known conservative Christians who seem positively gleeful about consigning some sinners to Hell and being around them is its own form of torment. 

Once upon a time I did a series of sermons that included Heaven and Hell but that may be the only time I preached on the subject. When it comes to the afterlife I do place my trust in its existence. Still, I don't profess to know much about Heaven and far less about Hell. From time to time I consider who ought to be consigned to Hell, such as the current Father of Lies south of the border, but I am constantly confounded by my convictions about a God of mercy and the Christ of forgiveness. Since no one sends postcards from either of these places I'll live in hope. 

Here is a transcript of Rowan Atkinson's Toby the Devil schtick, although we know that it's his comedic timing that sets him apart .

Hello! It's nice to see you all here. As the more perceptive of you have probably realised by now, this is Hell, and I am the Devil, good evening, but you can call me Toby, if you like. We try to keep things informal here, as well as infernal. That's just a little joke of mine. I tell it every time.

Now, you're all here for..... Eternity! Ooh, which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time, so you'll all get to know each other pretty well by the end.

But for now I'm going to have to split you up in groups.

Will You Stop Screaming!

Thank you.

Now, murderers? Murderers over here, please, thank you. Looters and Pillagers over there. Thieves, if you could join them, and Lawyers, you're in that lot too.

Fornicators - if you could step forward? My God, there are a lot of you! Could I split you up into Adulterers and the rest? Male adulterers, if you could just form a line in front of that small Guillotine in the corner.

Em... The French, are you here? If you would just like to come down here with the Germans. I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about.

Okay, atheists? Atheists over here please. You must be feeling a right bunch of Nitwits. Never mind.

And finally, Christians. Christians? Ah, yes, I'm sorry but I'm afraid the Jews were right. If you would come down here, that would be really fine.

Okay! Right, well are there any question? Yes?...no, I'm afraid there aren't any toilets. If you read your bibloe, you might have seen that it was damnation without relief, so if you did not go before you came then I'm afraid you're not going to enjoy yourself very much, but then I believe that's the idea.