Did anyone else read the article featured on the front page of the Globe and Mail Saturday, and expanded within the Focus section? The title was Loneliness: The Trouble With Solitude and written by Elizabeth Renzetti. I thought it was well developed and explored the challenges of loneliness as we age, the contradictions of a "connected" culture which can actually isolate us, and the stigma of loneliness. http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/life-of-solitude-a-loneliness-crisis-is-looming/article15573187/?page=all
I thought Renzetti got it wrong in making loneliness and solitude synonymous. During our Silence, Solitude, Sanctuary, and Simplicity study group this Fall we talked about the difference between choosing aloneness as a way of spiritual recollection and loneliness, enforced or otherwise. Solitude need not be the debilitating, isolating experience described in the article. http://www.psychologytoday.com/collections/201105/solitude-vs-loneliness/what-is-solitude
When Renzetti gave the example of the Vancouver Foundation giving out grants to organizations creating community events I wondered why she didn't point out that study after study indicates that those who gather regularly for worship are healthier in body, mind, and spirit. While organized religion is becoming the unexplored option for many Canadians, we are apparently getting lonelier. Might there be a connection? Religion also encourages us not to be so self-absorbed, with many opportunities to lose our lives in concern for others in order to find a sense of meaning.
Do you see the distinction between solitude and loneliness? Has Christian community made a difference for you when it comes to a sense of belonging? Why is it "against the religion" of so many writers these days to offer religion as an option?
4 comments:
I think they are different. Loneliness can happen even when you're surrounded by people.
I believe getting older is a factor. You don't make friends the same way as when you were a teen, or young adult. Passion,energy, and hormones I'm sure play a part.
Also when raising a family one can become isolated from old friends because time is consumed by obligations to your family, and extended family.
I often feel lonely this time of year. Short days, busy work, active kids, and getting into the Christmas spirit. My time is not my own.
Marketing-relating to religion or spirituality doesn't seem to attract potential consumers thus no advertisers. Predict the end of the world, or criticize a social program and you have their attention.
Remember that daytime tv , especially on cable, are full of self-help or personal advisor ads.
We are entrenched in a "conservative" society that says we all make choices and have to accept them. So those who don't fit that approach are margenalized.
Solitude and lonliness are two very different things in my life. In fact, often solitude combats lonliness for me.
As SJD mentioned, and being at a similar stage of life to him and the hours being so full it sometimes feels like we are just skimming the surface to get it all done.
Solitude helps me process life and find my perspective, which for me comes from my faith. It gives my life its depth and connection.
As I helped my dad through the latter years of his life, lonliess was my greatest heartache for him:a lonliness that I couldnt help with. Activity and people couldn't quelch it. Prayer helped for sure and a church family that loved and cared for him but maybe it was as you say, his sense of meaning that became lost as his abilities to help others dwindled.
I am reminded of an old family friend, a great ambassador for the church I grew up in, often saying "Dont knock it til you try it".....of churchlife, and today especially, with so few attending church regularily, those trying to help the lonely haven't tried churchlife themselves so are skeptical of the studies.
Thanks for these comments and thoughts about "loneliness in the crowd" and how solitude can actually be an antidote for loneliness.
I spoke this week with a sister-in-law who continues to deal with the sudden death of her husband a year and a half ago. She is including solitude, time with God, as part of her daily regimen to address loneliness.
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