From time to time I comment on the early chapters of Genesis and suggest that while some of these stories were never intended to be read as factual, they are true. More conservative Christians might criticise this idea as double-speak, but the creation stories and Noah's ark are powerful descriptions of the human condition even though they are pre-history. So is the story of Cain and Abel, which describes filial jealousy and the inner emotional and spiritual forces which stir us to resentment, hatred and even violence within families.
I thought of this passage in Genesis after a British man went on a terrible killing spree in June. In the end twelve people were dead, most of them total strangers to the shooter. But it began with the death of his twin brother. The killer seemed reasonably normal to the people who knew him, although he had become increasingly despondent and bitter because his brother prospered while he struggled for survival. Feeling that he had been unfairly treated by his parents' will, he lashed out in this deadly fashion.
A recent issue of Psychology Today is about sibling relationships and includes the observation "children only seem to share the same family environment. In reality, they inhabit radically different microenvironments." It seems to me that the story of Cain and Abel says the same thing.
I'm going to assume that none of you is armed and dangerous. But you must have your own observations about sibling relationships. Care to share?
2 comments:
Being a twin, and now having been the father of twins for over five years, I can say that there is a kernal of truth to what's being said here.
My twin sister and I are markedly different in outlook, philosophy and disposition, but nevertheless do share many things in common - not the least of which is a strong familial bond. My kid brother and sister, likewise. Despite four distinct personalities, priorities and paths, we come together nicely because our parents let us each grow up and into ourselves. They identified our needs, likes and dislikes and (luckily for us) attended to the needs and likes.
With my own girls, I find myself so many times having to remember that they are their own kids, and not just 'the twins.' Taking time to spend time with them one-on-one is as important as working and playing with the pair of them as a team. Being a twin myself always gives me pause to consider their points of view.
The unfortunate story you relate reminds me of the Willy Russell musical "Blood Brothers" where identical twin brothers are raised apart, one in poverty, one in the lap of luxury. The 'rich' brother, Eddie, ends up a prominent, well-to-do politician while his working class brother, Michael suffers from depression and eventually takes his own - and his brother's - life.
Nature and nurture are a muddy mix, aren't they?
I have 2 kids who go out of their way to make life miserable for the other. They are really evil to each other, and I don't understand why? I hope they are just getting it out of their systems early.
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