Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Innies and Outies



There was an interesting article in the business section of the Globe and Mail newspaper yesterday about the care and feeding of introverted employees. The column Monday Morning Manager used the headline Are You an Introvert? That's an asset.

At the risk of being simplistic, extroverts gain their energy from exterior sources, and often come across immediately as outgoing. Introverts get their drive from within, and are sometimes labelled shy or stand-offish initially.

The article suggests that because introverts are thoughtful and measured in the way they respond to tasks they can be very important team members, if given the leeway to reflect, perhaps write responses rather than toss ideas into a group discussion, and are given time to "recharge" apart from the interactive demands of the job.

I get this because according to several assessments through the Myers-Briggs personality indicator I am an introvert. So are the majority of ministers -- far more than the average in our society. In makes sense when you consider this. We have an inner life which has led to a "call" from God into ministry. Our parishioners hope that we will be thoughtful in what we have to say on Sunday mornings. We might use a venue like a blog to express ourselves!

Of course, we are involved in an extroverted profession where we are expected to engage with people constantly. Parishioners may think that we should have the chance to do our inner work of study, prayer, and reflecting. They may not realize the constant "outie" expectations of the job. Social media has made this even more pronounced.

I find that if I don't have time for my inner life I become frustrated, and even overwhelmed.  I need to be in conversation with God and to develop the bigger picture of ministry within my congregation. I also figure that if I'm not doing this, who is? I know I am a good visitor and listen well. I also know that an afternoon of visiting can drain me as I attempt to be attentive and spiritually supportive. And the evening meeting is just ahead.

This is important for St. Paul's to ponder as it chooses a new minister, and for Bridge St. as it invites me into leadership. Through the years I have learned to be comfortable in my extroverted mode, but I will always be an introvert at heart.

Do you know whether you are an "innie" or an "outie?" Are you okay in your own skin? Do you see how it is important to be aware of this with your pastor?

6 comments:

IanD said...

I suppose everyone has both sides, to varying degrees. In my classes over the years, I always try to have an eye for the introverted kids, if only to make sure they feel comfortable in the room through a hand on the shoulder as I'm touring the room, or tousling hair ... that kind of thing.

Some of my more quiet kids have gone on to some incredible things over the years. Sleepers, eh?

Judy said...

A "True Colors" workshop with a board and ministry teams and a new minister could help to get things off to a great start in a new pastoral charge! Based on the Meyers- Briggs survey, a fun way to identify types and gifts.

yogi said...

I am not only an innie, I am an extreme "innie". Being outwardly social is extremely draining. I often wish I had at least a small bit of outie. I'm quite glad that none of my kids are like me in this way. It is not an easy way to live.

David Mundy said...

Thanks to all three of you for your observations. Good thoughts about the classroom and board/ministry teams.

Strong introverts often feel like social outcasts, unfortunately. There should be innie clubs, except who would come?

sjd said...

I have to say I'm an innie too. Also I'm in an "outtie" type of job. As a sales rep I have to talk to people, and it takes alot out of me. I often feel bad that I come home tired when I didn't do any physical labour all day.
I could go and cut wood for hours by my self, and other than the aching muscles, I'm much more refreshed than sitting, and chatting.
Just the other day I was working in my garage. Company came by, and offered to help. We got working, and the comment was made that there wasn't much conversation. I think he thought I didn't want help, but I was just working away. I do appreciate the help. Just didn't have anything to say at the time.

David Mundy said...

Thanks for adding this sjd. When I was on leave five years ago I spent two months at a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere by myself, except when joined by Ruth on the weekend. Happy as a clam, but ready to return after that restorative time.