Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Courage to Come Forward

The trial of a Belleville man charged with domestic violence has come to a sorry but just end. David McMullen was convicted of assaulting his wife in a fit of jealous rage which was not even based on fact. He had concluded that his wife, Cory McMullen, was having an affair, which proved not to be the case. During the summer he followed her, then hit her so violently he broke her arm. This story might have escaped our attention, but Mrs. McMullen is Chief McMullen of the Belleville police. Her husband is a retired policeman.

We talked about this incident in our home, because I have regularly spent time with couples whose domestic strife has escalated to a disturbing level, or with one person in a couple who has come to fear the other. My wife Ruth is an outreach worker for our local women's shelter, called Bethesda House. Her clients often have horrendous stories of abuse, verbal and physical. We are both aware that domestic abuse and violence can affect people in any walk of life, and often goes unnoticed or unreported. There is a great deal of shame for those caught in these situations and the fear of loss of respectability can hold victims in destructive relationships.

The McMullen situation is sad. A twenty year marriage is probably ruined and Mr. McMullen will have to deal with his public humiliation for the rest of his life. He seems to be genuinely remorseful but he can't escape the consequences of his actions. Thank God, though, that Mrs. McMullen was willing to go public and remind others that this can happen in any relationship.

Comments?

2 comments:

roger said...

I had a martial arts instructor twenty years ago who said something to the effect of "there is something wrong with any man who will hit a woman".

His influence, as well as my upbringing, leads me to believe that I would never, ever hit a woman...and I never have.

However, a marriage counsellor once told me that anyone can strike back if provoked enough. My reaction to that is that you do anything in the heat of the moment other than strike someone - even if it means walking away or choosing any physical outlet that is not going to cause harm.

When I hear about murders in the news, I often wonder what the circumstances were...was there such outrage that the person could not control? Imagine if everyone made the choice that, no matter what, he/she would never resort to violence?

In the Belleville case, it was disturbing and sad. What made it even worse was his assaulting his wife in front of their child, and even taunting his wife while doing so. Inexcusable.

David Mundy said...

Thanks Johnny. This blog thing has been rather lonely lately in terms of responses.

You're right about the reprehensive nature of a stronger person preying on someone physically weaker. And while both men and women can lash out at one another in violent ways when it becomes physical women tend to take the brunt of harm.

We speak now of domestic violence which is psychological and physical to recognize that both genders can cause harm, But the vast majority of reported cases of domestic physical harm and murder are men hurting women.

Again you're right -- inexcusable.