The other day I visited one of our members in her new residence, which is a nursing home. Until recently she lived with her husband, a fine man who lovingly and practically cared for his wife. Eventually her decline, due to Alzhiemer's disease left him exhausted and in danger of serious health problems, so with the support of his adult children a difficult decision was made.
When I arrived her daughter was there for a visit and after a walk together I spent a few minutes alone with her. Her confusion was evident yet the gracious woman she was in the past was also apparent. I wondered how that vestige of the past remains, despite so much being taken from her by this disease. After we prayed she expressed her gratitude and I promised to return.
I thought of this person who is loved and who loves still as I heard the reports yesterday on world Alzheimer's Day. The grim prognosis is that the world-wide numbers will climb significantly, especially now that the life expectancy in countries such as India is on the rise. Already there are 35 million people who live with Alzheimer's worldwide, a ten percent increase of reported cases since 2005. While some who develop Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia are "young" (in their forties and fifties) the majority are elderly.
Providing spiritual support and pastoral care to those with dementia is a challenge. What do these individuals remember and what are their benchmarks for conversations about faith. Often I read familiar passages of scripture and I pray. These activities often seem to bring comfort. In the end it is a ministry of presence that is probably most important. All of us can overcome our sense of helplessness to be kind to those who have what is a very cruel disease for everyone touched by it. Last week at bible study a member shared a book she appreciated called Still Alice, a novel by neuroscientist Lisa Genova about someone who is "still Alice" despite her disease. Each person who lives with dementia is still at some level the person they once were, and still loved by God.
Any thoughts?
1 comment:
I do think familiar passages and prayers and hymns, on some level, help those with dimentia to remember who they were, if only just for a moment. As you said though, presence and kindness is the greatest ministry we can offer.
I recall being at a longterm care home not long ago with a group of young teens leading a sing-song. Jesus Loves Me was requested, and sung 4 times in our brief visit. One old gal even rose from her seat and danced to this favourite hymn. To me, the comfort and joy evidenced, as we shared that somehow familiar hymn from their childhood, reminded me that at our very core, although so much is lost to dimentia, God is still present.
I am reminded of the piece that is forwarded through e-mail of a man that is questioned as to why he visits his wife everyday when she no longer remembers who he is, or is even aware that he is there. His response well worded, I think.. "....because I remember who she is."
Post a Comment