Is it Possible to Grieve with Hope?

 

But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died, so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 

                             I Thessalonians 4: 13 NRSVue

In today's Globe and Mail there is an honest, powerful opinion piece by Danielle Crittenden,  the author of the recently published Dispatches From Grief: A Mother’s Journey Through the Unthinkable. It begins: 

If you suffer a tragedy, there will be no shortage of people offering hope. “You’ll get through this.” “It’s hard now but it will get better.” “You’re strong – and one day you’ll realize this will make you stronger.”

It’s a kind impulse. It’s a generous impulse. But it’s also the most unwelcome impulse.

Two years ago I suddenly lost my eldest daughter, Miranda. She was 32. The cause was complications from a brain tumour she’d had removed five years earlier, along with the pituitary gland it had destroyed. Her doctors had assured Miranda and us that she would live a full, healthy life. That didn’t happen. One February morning, the call came. Miranda was gone, and so was my life as I knew it.

Her loss is literally unimaginable. In paragraph after paragraph Crittenden dismantles some of the response  to her loss by usually well-meaning folk who had no intention of being "Job's comforters" but said and did things with the desire to console when there was no consolation. She also describes the grief as a pathway to newfound peace and joy industrial complex (my term) that hasn't been helpful either. 

There was a time where rituals and encouragements around grief were largely the domain of religion. Sometimes they have been been awful to the point of cruelty with a happy-clappy "Jesus is Risen" approach that actually deepens profound grief. 

As a pastor I tried to travel a careful road on which we acknowledged the grim reality of death and mourning while affirming our resurrection hope in Christ. I won't claim to have always been adept at this but I attempted to be as genuine as possible. I found that any groups I offered on grief were well attended but no one came because they were seeking platitudes. There were some participants who had experienced shocking losses and others who watched elderly loved ones leave this life for the next. Grief was real and often lingering in all these circumstances. I came to appreciate that grief affected every person differently and I had no right to impose timelines or make assumptions. 

There were funeral and memorial services in which I included the passage above in a framework that is described so thoughtfully by New Testament Scholar N.T, Wright in a brilliant post on X. I appreciate that Wright acknowledges the apostle Paul's personal grief and a recognition that misusing this passage that his grief is "a standing rebuke to the shallowness that forbids Christians to grieve on the ground that all shall be well."

Tom Wright

@profntwright

·

2h

Paul's deep, constant, and unresolved grief is a standing rebuke to the shallowness that forbids Christians to grieve on the grounds that all shall be well. Earnest preachers have sometimes read 1 Thess 4:13 as forbidding grief of all sorts, whereas what that passage forbids is grieving of a particular kind ("after the manner of pagans who have no hope"). To hold firmly to the Christian hope is not to pass beyond grief; indeed, not to grieve is not to love, since grief is the form love takes when the beloved is taken away. Paul himself speaks elsewhere (Phil 2:27) of the grief he would have had if Epaphroditus had died ("grief upon grief," he says); no suggestion there of simply "rejoicing that his friend had gone to a better place." As long as death is real, grief is real too. If it is not acknowledged, and expressed appropriately, it can be poisonous. At the same time, it is vital to learn the lesson that this deep and inconsolable grief can co-exist with the joy and celebration that fill the previous four chapters. The many-layered texture of Christian experience has room for both, and more besides. Learning how to live with these different layers, giving each its proper place, is part of Christian maturity; pointing to this task, and helping people to engage in it, is a vital part of Christian ministry. What happens between Romans 5-8 and Romans 9-11 at the level of literature must be facilitated at the level of prayer and Christian self-understanding. -Romans, The New Interpreters Bible

Seeing the Forest & the Trees

 

“We tried to make you be like us and in so doing we helped to destroy the vision that made you what you were.”

                                             from the 1986 United Church Apology to Indigenous Peoples 

When Canadian scientist Suzanne Simard published her book The Mother Tree: Discovering the Wisdom of the Forest to considerable acclaim in 2021 I purchased it and deeply appreciated her insights. Simard concluded through her research that trees have ways of communicating in mutual support with networks of fungi aiding the process. She was also convinced that in areas that were being cut it was essential to leave what she termed mother trees, the larger trees that have a unique role in nurturing younger growth. Although she had worked for the forestry industry she realized that clear-cutting caused irreparable damage to the complexity of soil and plant interdependence even though replanting took place. 

I recently finished her new book When the Forest Breathes:  Renewal and Resilience in the Natural World. She continues on the themes of interdependence based on the rigorous research she undertook with a long-time scientific partner, her adult daughters, and committed graduate students. The outcome distressed me as she described the compacting and destruction of forest floors by massive machinery. Protests against clear-cutting old growth trees in British Columbia seemed futile.

After the mother tree was published Simard faced strong resistance from some members of the scientific community including persons she had mentored and supported through the decades. This was devastating for her.

She is forthright about her treatment for breast cancer and slow recovery on the way back to working in the field. Her vibrant mother developed dementia and other serious illnesses leading to her choice to leave this life by Medical Assistance in Dying. A brilliant grad student died in a ski accident leaving Simard and many others in profound grief. 

A key element in Simard's recovery was connecting with Indigenous communities in BC and in the Amazon region. She realized that these peoples had been practicing a sustainable and reverential form of harvesting the forest for centuries with a wisdom ignored by Western science and resource depredation.

I was moved by her acceptance and humility as she absorbed these insights while understanding the continuing importance of Western science. There is the realization that everything is connected to everything in ways that are both spiritual and measurable. David Suzuki has also benefited from Indigenous wisdom and he too has been criticized.

I ponder all this from the perspective of a Christ-follower who desires health for our planetary home. So often Christianity became entwined with colonialism in subjugating  Indigenous peoples around the planet. We did so out of arrogance and to our peril. Our Judeo/Christian scriptures and heritage honours Creator and Creation yet we chose to ignore this in service to imperialism. I am grateful that Simard has stayed true to her science and has also opened herself to a wisdom that honours all of Creation. 

Reading Scripture, Seriously or Literally?

A king is not saved by his great army;

    a warrior is not delivered by his great strength.
 The war horse is a vain hope for victory,
    and by its great might it cannot save.

 Truly the eye of the Lord is on those who fear him,
    on those who hope in his steadfast love,

to deliver their soul from death
    and to keep them alive in famine.

 Our soul waits for the Lord;
    he is our help and shield.
 Our heart is glad in him
    because we trust in his holy name.
 Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
    even as we hope in you.

                                                     Psalm 33: 16-22 NRSVue

I attempt to read scripture regularly using the daily schedule of lessons provided through the ecumenical lectionary. My goal is to peruse the psalm on a daily-ish basis although I often read from the other prescribed passages for the day. Some of the "smitey" psalms are alarming but most of what I read is thought-provoking, inspiring and even emotionally touching. This exercise takes a matter of minutes each day and from time to time I wonder how it is that I fall off the scripture wagon. The "tyranny of the urgent" seems like a lame excuse when I'm non-gainfully retired.

Mainline denominations such as the United Church of Canada tend to claim that they take scripture seriously but not literally, but what does that mean. A current article from the Christian Century by Stephanie Perdew asks important questions about biblical literacy or perhaps more accurately illiteracy amongst mainline/oldline Christians. Here are two from an introductory summary: 

1.  Perdew recalls a conversation with some mainline Christians in which they lamented not having conversational “weapons” to use with White Christian nationalists. How equipped do you feel to discuss the Bible or history with people who strongly disagree with you? 

2. Perdew notes that it is popular for churches in her circles to say, “We take the Bible seriously but not literally,” as a way to distance themselves from fundamentalism. Unfortunately, Perdew laments, it often seems that mainline communities don’t take the Bible seriously or literally. What is your reaction to this observation?

These are honest and to the point. Through my years of congregational ministry I led studies on lots of subjects and always made a point of relating our explorations to scripture as our sacred north star.

 I also offered lectionary based groups including one for a decade which was made up mostly of elderly women with a smattering of men and younger (than them) adults. I was impressed by how well versed and wise they were, with members often coming from denominations that were more literally biblically-based. They left because those churches were too rigid and "us and them" but they brought their biblical foundation. 

When we lived in Sudbury there was a family whose teens had a strong knowledge of scripture and it turned out that the mom grew up as a Mennonite so bible reading were important. 

Biblical literalism usually isn't. It is a bias that often cherry picks scripture in a dismaying manner and ignores essentially aspects of Jesus' message of inclusion and compassion echoed in the New Testament letters. I've had interesting conversations with supposed literalists where I pointed out inconsistencies with this claim. 

I did love that the old United Church Observer magazine featured biblical cartoons by Cuyler Black who brought his wacky sense of humour as a guest speaker when I was at St. Paul's in Bowmanville. 

This morning I read the daily psalm, 33, and it included the verses above. I wonder what MAGA Christians and Pete Hegseth, Secretary of War, have to say about this one? Weak, it sounds very weak... 

Senseless Hatred in San Diego

People stand behind police tape at the scene of a shooting outside the Islamic Center of San Diego Monday, May 18, 2026, in San Diego. (AP Photo/Gregory Bull)

 We have seen it so often. Some guy or guys decides that Jews or Muslims or even Christians are a threat to the world. So they arm themselves with military style weapons and murder people they've never met at synagogues, mosques and churches. Their victims aren't armed or engaged in nefarious activity. They are worshipping or attending school or just chatting in front of their institutions. 

It happened again two days ago when a security guard and two worshippers at a mosque in San Diego were killed by two boys aged 17 and 18 who were so possessed by hate they committed this terrible act. The guard was a father of nine who was beloved by many. He managed to sound the alarm to teachers at the adjacent school before the fatal confrontation.

I noticed that a nearby church immediately opened its doors to provide shelter for the evacuated schoolchildren. Within a few hours a California Jewish organization issued a statement decrying this crime based on religious hatred. Ultimately, we should all know that prejudices and violence against any religious group puts us all people of faith at peril. I think of the Muslim community which provided solace and financial support to the Tree of Life synagogue in Pittsburgh a few years ago after a gunman killed a number of people. 

It is bizarre that so often it seems that that it is the fundamentalists within religious groups, whatever their stripe, who foment discrimination and threat. In the United States and Canada there are Christian extremists who are no longer quiet about their contempt for those who practice other religions. In Israel there is a disturbing rise in anti-Islam and anti-Christian violence perpetrated by Jewish fundamentalists. In some African nations Islamic extremists kidnap or kill Christians. It is hatred that becomes an idolatrous religion and it is all so senseless and a spiral into hell on earth. 

In the midst of this tragedy we can be vigilant in condemning religious prejudice in all forms, speaking our truth when necessary. Those of us who follow Jesus, the Jew, can make peace in our thoughts and words and deeds. We can support interfaith dialogue and understanding and promote solidarity. 

 God of us all, comfort those who mourn in San Diego. 

A Magdalen May 1 Chorus, Male and Female

                       

Two years ago I wrote about a May 1st tradition in Oxford, England, where the Magdalen College Choir climbs high atop the city and sings to the crowd gathered below. The tradition is more than 500 years old but it seems that everything old is new again, In 2014 about 14,000 cheerful early-birds gathered and last year 16,500. This year is was 18,500. 

I noted that in many places in Europe May1st is May Day, acknowledged as the first day of Summer, which is hard to grasp. This year we were still freezing our tushes off on May 1 across much of Canada. 

Wildflowers are gathered, dancing around a maypole takes place, and bonfires are lit. The origins of these festivals are ancient and pre-Christian but we could argue that Europe is now post-Christian in many respects. The choir was created centuries ago to sing the daily church services in Magdalen College Chapel yet much of the crowd below looks pleasantly pagan. 

                                                       Oxford at the crack of dawn, May 1, 2026

The front row of the choir will look different next year as for the first time in five centuries girls will be included in the choir. Here is an article about the change: 

For the first time in its history, the world-renowned choir of Magdalen College is admitting girls to sing alongside boys as choristers.

Founded in 1480, the choir has become one of the most highly regarded ensembles in the UK and is best known for singing to welcome the dawn from the Great Tower of Magdalen College each year on May Morning. The Choir has appeared at the BBC Proms and toured the USA, France, Sweden, Holland, Portugal, and Spain in recent years. Having previously recorded for the Harmonia Mundi and Opus Arte labels, the Choir released its first album on the CORO label in 2023.

The choir’s 16 young choristers are drawn from Magdalen College School, originally founded as the Song School for the College, which on 2 February announced its plans to become co-educational from 2027. The College subsequently took the opportunity to consider how best to integrate girls into the musical life of the Chapel and has now decided to offer choristerships on an equal basis to both girls and boys aged between eight and 13.

Sure they have their 500 year old Spring tradition, but do they have trilliums? 

Saints and heavenly choirs preserve us, girls alongside the boys. What will be next? 

Joana Texeira and Pax Butchart on May Morning. 2026

(Image: Newsquest)

Good Shepherds and Sheep Detectives

 

1 The Lord's my Shepherd, I'll not want;

he makes me down to lie

in pastures green; he leadeth me,

the quiet waters by.

We were at the movie theatre a couple of months ago and saw the trailer for an upcoming film called The Sheep Detectives. It's about sheep who are...detectives. Trailers usually convince us of the movies we don't want to see but this one looked genuinely funny, so we decided to go when it came to town. 

I'm here to say that it is funny, clever, even touching -- sort of Knives Out meets Babe. It has a great cast including Hugh Jackman and Emma Thompson as humans, and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Bryan Cranston, and Patrick Stewart as sheep, along with many other strong actors. The animation (animal-ation?) is impressive as well.

Sadly, the good, wool-only shepherd of the flock, Jackman, is murdered and his flock is bereft until one of them steps up to lead them. For years the shepherd has read them cozy murder mysteries each evening, so why don't they solve the crime? 

I'll keep the wool over your eyes in terms of whodunit but there are some moments of a religious nature that I'll share. One of the suspects is the local vicar and we meet him as he introduces the parable of the Lost Sheep during a worship service and we see a Good Shepherd stained glass window.  

Later in the film a world-wise and weary ram attempts to explain to his two sheep-sleuth companions what church and God are. He  admits that it's confusing because God is a Shepherd but he is also a Lamb. But the Lamb is also Bread and humans eat the bread. It is delightfully bewildering and during my ministry I had occasions when I tried to explain all this to children and adults with varying success. 

There are poignant moments in the story as well with some reflection on the nature of grief, avoidance of our mortality, and our hopes for the afterlife. Hey, it has it all, so go and see it! The Lion LAMB blogger signing off for today...

Absorbing Creation this "May Long"

 

                                                             Trees in Spring -- David Milne

2 What a wondrous time is spring when all the trees

are budding,

the birds begin to sing, the flowers start their blooming;

that's how it is with God's love,

once you've experienced it:

you want to sing, it's fresh like spring,

you want to pass it on.

                                      Voices United 289

Victoria Day begat May Two-Four, begat May Long. Tomorrow Canadians will celebrate the longest standing national holiday in Canada, other than the religious ones. I wonder how many Canadians could name Queen Victoria and her birthday (May 24th) as the source of the extra day off this weekend?

This is an opportunity for millions of us to get outside, camping amidst the blackflies, opening the cottage, going for a walk for that fleeting look at trilliums and trout lilies. We've paddled a number of times already, but we'll get out on the water to enjoy that unique "David Milne" green of Spring along the shoreline. This morning we sat on our deck for the first outdoor breakfast of the year, soaking in the Dawn Chorus. 

Recently I read Adam Nicholson's Bird School: A Beginner in the Woods. He describes the old farmstead in Britain on which he has taken up residence and the construction of a small structure in a derelict field for the purpose of paying attention to the birds. It is designed so that lots of feeders can be hung and large windows be opened wide to take in birdsong. 

What captured me is that he describes this cabin not as an observatory but as an absorbatory., a word of his making and a brilliant one. It speaks to his deep desire to be immersed in and to absorb his surroundings. He wanted the structure to be "semi-permeable, a space into which the outside worlds could be allowed to enter as a welcome guest." 

Few of us could afford to purchase property and build a structure crafted for this purpose. But many of us have the opportunity to be awake to the outdoors world at our doorsteps and beyond, one of the blessings of this country. We can nurture our appreciation of Creation, the birds and flowers, as Jesus encouraged the curious and the disciples to do in the Sermon on the Mount. I figure faith communities can get beyond the stained glass confines to absorb, "to take it in, to dissolve if such a thing is possible, the boundary between self and world." (Bird School)

Next Sunday, actually closer to the actual "May Two-Four", one of the young people at Trenton United will take us on an after-worship walk at a nearby park. What a wonderful way to honour the Creator. I don't know whether Queen Victoria would approve but we certainly hope to participate.