A Forgiveness Funeral?

 

It was perhaps 30 years ago that evangelical pastor Max Lucado was everywhere. He was and I think still is the pastor of a large congregation but he had a wide influence through his books and speaking engagements, I never read one of those books but through quotes and perhaps an interview I ended up with the sense that he was a person of deep Christian faith who wanted others to share that faith. Today there is so much loony evangelicalism, a lot of it wolfish Christian Nationalism in sheep's clothing that his approach is missed.

I came upon an article from Relevant magazine in which Lucado reflects on forgiveness, strangely a profound Christian tenet rooted in the cross and resurrection that doesn't seem to get much air time these days. We hear more about smacking both cheeks than turning one of them, as Jesus taught. 

Yet through the years I offered study sessions on Forgiveness in a number of congregations and they were generally the best attended groups I led. I often discovered after the formal session was over how deeply participants were struggling with forgiveness, for themselves or in extending it to others. Some were really angry and others were alienated from loved ones. Often individuals felt defeated by the unforgiveness they were experiencing, unable or unwilling to move forward. I have a shelf of really good books on the subject as well as an excellent video series that folks found meaningful. 

Here are a few paragraphs from Lucado's piece. He includes six steps to forgiveness and I've included the last one Mull over what he says and consider whether it rings true for you. I like the notion of a forgiveness funeral. 

he question is not, Did you get hurt? The question is, Are you going to let the hurt harden you? Numb you? Suck up all your joy?

Some people abandon the path of forgiveness because they perceive it to be impossibly steep. And it can be. So, let’s be realistic.. Forgiveness does not pardon the offense, excuse the misdeed, or ignore it. Forgiveness is not necessarily reconciliation. A reestablished relationship with the transgressor is not essential or always even possible. Even more, the phrase “forgive and forget” sets an unreachable standard. Painful memories are not like old clothing. They defy easy shedding. 

Forgiveness is simply the act of changing your attitude toward the offender; it’s moving from a desire to harm toward an openness to be at peace. A step in the direction of forgiveness is a decisive step toward happiness. 

Here is one final idea: 

6. Conduct a funeral. Bury the offense. I don’t mean to bury it in the sense of suppressing it. Nothing is gained by shoving negative emotions into your spirit. But something wonderful is gained by taking the memory, placing it in a casket (a shoebox will suffice), and burying it in the cemetery known as “Moving On with Life.” Take off your hat, cover your heart, and shed one final tear. When the anger surfaces again, just tell yourself, “It’s time to walk boldly into a bright future.”

Forgiveness is the act of applying your undeserved mercy to your undeserved hurts. You didn’t deserve to be hurt, but neither did you deserve to be forgiven. Being the recipient that you are of God’s great grace, does it not make sense to give grace to others? 

Sugar and the Last Supper

 

We have watched two full seasons of the noir series called Sugar about a suave private detective played by Colin Farrell. John Sugar loves classic movies, he wears bespoke suits, and drives a 1966 Corvette Stingray. He's cool and he's an alien. You need to watch the series to find out more about that twist. 

In the second season a villain who should be a good guy sneaks into a hospital to eliminate a drug dealer who is comatose and on a ventilator. These things happen in detective shows. As he moves in for the kill he intones words which were immediately familiar to me because I've used them often in funeral and memorial services. They are from John's gospel: 

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.

This is not a series containing much or anything else in the way of religion. How many viewers would have a clue they were Jesus in his farewell address to the disciples during the Last Supper? So, why these phrases, here? Who was the writer who decided to throw them into the scene?  I imagine I'll never know. 

What I do know is that religious and spiritual stuff finds its way into a fair amount of popular culture even though we live in an increasingly secular age. Some of it mocks religion or paints it in a negative light. There are also positive uses and some such as this one that are just perplexing. Here for a moment and then gone. 

I recommend Sugar, as an entertaining watch, although I'll refrain from suggesting that it's out of this world. 

Spiritual Neutrality in the Canadian Military

The evangelical magazine Christianity Today offered an article with this headline not long ago: 

Canadian Military Chaplains Can’t Mention God in Public

Adam MacInnis

A new directive bans members of Canada’s military from using religious language at events.

While Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth seeks to make US military chaplains more explicitly religious, the Canadian government is heading in the opposite direction as new directives ban chaplains from using religious language at public events.

Released on July 29, the instructions noted that members of the Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) making public remarks at any type of public or semi-public event “shall uphold the principle of state religious and spiritual neutrality by not using words, actions, or symbols that are specific to a particular SFT [Spiritual or Faith Tradition] on the part of the Government of Canada.”

It also instructs chaplains not to offer prayer at official events, including military ceremonies or commemorations. If chaplains are asked to pray at a public event while serving as a representative of the CAF, they are told to instead offer a spiritual reflection without religion-specific language.

This is correct, not something we can take for granted from American sources writing about Canada. This directive has been in the works for a while and met with resistance by lots of people in this country. There have been assurances that this doesn't mean that there won't be chaplains anymore. They will continue to provide worship opportunities and counsel related to faith, and this is important. They'll just be offering spiritually neutral uplift, I suppose. So why bother? And what chaplain of any faith wants to do this? Will respectful repatriation processions such as the one shown above now exclude chaplains?

                                     The first Buddhist chaplain in the Canadian Military

I've had mixed feelings about this change over the past couple of years. I have attended many Remembrance Day services over time where there were specifically Christian prayers and hymns and even homilies. In one community our congregation printed up copies of the hymn sung every year because the crowd tended to mumble through it without the lyrics. It seemed disrespectful not to sing with assurance. 

Still, we know that in our pluralistic society that members of the military and those who gather for events are of different faiths or none. Why should they be expected to endure Christian elements that are often represent theology from another era anyway? 

I would prefer this rather lame neutrality to the exclusive nonsense emanating from the Pentagon these days. Even Roman Catholics are being pushed aside by Hegseth's directives. 

We'll see what happens in the days ahead. 

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION: THE GLOBE AND MAIL. Stained Glass, Riga CATHEDRAL: Getty Images. Pete Hegseth: AFP VIA GETTY IMAGES.

Created in God's Image

I know next to nothing about Ariana Grande other than that she's famous. I suppose I am aware that she is a hugely popular singer and has been on a world tour. And that the Grammy winner was nominated for an Academy Award for her role in the highly successful musical film Wicked. Olay, I'm aware of a bit about her.

I have also seen recent photos of Ariana and thought that she seemed to be shrinking, physically, and appeared almost translucent in her frailty. It turns out that a lot of people have been aware of this and the speculation about her physical and mental health has been huge and intrusive.. 

Now we've been told that Grande will halt her tour and take time away from the public eye, something she says has been in the works for a while. According to a statement: 

Ariana will be taking a step back from visibility after she completes the Eternal Sunshine Tour. She looks forward to finishing the tour and ending it on a high note, both healthily and happily, and then taking a much-deserved break from public-facing work and appearances which has led to endless, ongoing public scrutiny. 

This is the curse that goes with the blessing of fame, isn't it, especially for women? Gain weight and the shamers are on it. Become waif-like and social media lights up. There are performers who decide that they will not be bullied by expectations and are applauded and even idolized. Then they go on the latest weight loss regime and are condemned as sell-outs. 

Mere mortals go through this as well in a culture that is obsessed by body image. We aren't allowed to be satisfied with who we are whether we're young or not so young. There was a piece in the Globe and Mail this past weekend featuring half a dozen women and men who spend thousands of dollars every year to look younger than they are. This, apparently, is newsworthy. 

During my ministry there were members who became physically and mentally unhealthy because of body dysmorphia. One lovely teen developed what was called sports anorexia at that time, running incessantly and losing an alarming amount of weight. There were others who became virtual recluses because of obesity. 

I figure that it's a good plan to be healthy, eating good food and and staying active.  I wonder if there is a greater role for the Christian community to address these issues, affirming that we are all made in the image of God and that we are loved and accepted in our differences? The Seventh Day Adventists are a conservative Christian group who strongly encourage vegetarianism and a healthy lifestyle. I'm not sure that the fare at most United Church meals would be regarded as heart-healthy, but maybe we could learn.

Meanwhile, we can wish Ariana Grande well.  

The Yacht & the Distress Call

He has shown strength with his arm;

    he has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He has brought down the powerful from their thrones
    and lifted up the lowly;
 he has filled the hungry with good things
    and sent the rich away empty...

   From the Magnifcat, Mary's Song -- Luke 1: 52-56 NRSVue

Did you hear about the small Alaska cruise ship that responded to a stranded vessel a couple of weeks ago? It went around a massive yacht that belongs to billionaire Mark Zuckerberg to effect the rescue. Zuckerberg's $300 million yacht failed to respond despite several calls to do so. 

After the fact a Zuckerberg spokesperson issued a release saying that the billionaire's family wasn't on the yacht at the time and the captain was using a different frequency so didn't receive the distress calls. 

Oh well, that's better.  While there was plenty of criticism about ignoring the law of the sea I didn't see any comments suggesting that a $300 million yacht shouldn't exist in the first place. Certainly this isn't the only one -- remember that the yachts of several Russian oligarchs were seized as the Ukraine was began -- and Amazon's Jeff Bezos has one worth $500 million. But the reality of these enormous fossil fuel guzzling pleasure craft tooling around the oceans is hideous, with or without their owners aboard. 

The disparity between rich and poor continues to grow on our planet, even as climate chaos is making the planet unlivable. No one seems willing to challenge this abomination.

Apparently Zuckerberg has a sprawling compound in Hawaii with multiple homes and a blast proof bunker. What sort of dystopian fantasy world do these people live in? Colonize Mars? Flee to the bunker or yacht? They are ignoring the distress call of this moment thinking they will be protected by their wealth and power. What will be left for them, however rich them may be? 

I like the vision of a peasant girl, Mary the expectant mother of Jesus. much better, although it is not Good News for some.  

Aspiring to Virtue

 

 Virtues are intrinsically practical. They can only exist by being lived out. You can have an internal value and hope it finds expression, but the exciting thing about virtues is the sense that they’re collective and passed down through communities through traditions.

Good Faith Partnership Co-Founder David Barclay

Would you consider yourself a virtuous person? That's a challenging question, perhaps an "aw shucks' question where you would be reluctant to describe yourself as such. 

You might be afraid of what it sometimes called "virtue-signalling" which is associated with hypocrisy: 

he public expression of opinions or sentiments intended to demonstrate one's good character or social conscience or the moral correctness of one's position on a particular issue:"the act sounded more like virtue signaling than concrete action"

It would be tempting to simply shrug and say that aspiring to be virtuous is old-timey in an age of cynicism and moral ambiguity. But should that stop us from attempting to live by our moral and ethical lights?

The chart of virtues shown above comes from the Virtues of Faith research project which explored virtues valued by six faith groups. Intriguingly honesty is the virtue which showed up in all six traditions. 

I suppose we all far short when it comes to living out our faith virtues b


 It turns out that all faith groups emphasized moral virtues in common. That's good news. My faith assures me that in Christ I am loved, forgiven, and accepted despite my shortcomings and sins. Why wouldn't I do my best to live these virtues as I'm able, by the grace of God. The key findings of the study were these:

• All religious groups had at least three virtues in common in their respective top six selected virtues

• All religious groups had at least three virtues in common in their respective top six selected virtues
• Honesty was the only virtue in the top six across all belief strands
• Members of faith groups placed more emphasis on moral virtues than Humanists/those of no faith

Jewish Mr. Spock?

The Lord bless you and keep you;
25 the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
26 the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.

Numbers 6: 24-26

 Were you aware that Mr. Spock, the Vulcan/human officer on the Starship Enterprise was Jewish? Well, Leonard Nimoy, the actor who played Spock in the series and in films grew up Jewish. Nimoy was the child of Ukrainian Jewish immigrants in Boston where he went to synagogue and witnessed elders using what became his trademark Spock greeting as a symbol of blessing accompanying the verses from Numbers. 

In an interview Nimoy observed:  

'Spock is an alien, wherever he is. Because he's not human. He's not Vulcan. He's half and half — what we used to call a half-breed. ... He's not totally accepted in the Vulcan culture because he's not totally Vulcan. Certainly not totally accepted in the human culture because he's part Vulcan. And that alienation was something I learned in Boston. I knew what it meant to be a member of a minority — and in some cases, an outcast minority. So I understood that aspect of the character, and I think it was helpful in playing him.

In some respects Nimoy was Jew-ish, as one comedian described himself,. His son Adam, now 70, describes himself as a more observant Jew than his late father was. Still, Leonard was a benefactor of Jewish causes including the Israeli Philharmonic Orchestra, a childhood center at Temple Israel of Hollywood and the Susan and Leonard Nimoy Career Center at Beit T’Shuvah, a Jewish recovery house in Los Angeles.

It pleased Leonard that the gesture became so popular amongst Trekkies and non-Trekkies and was always willing to explain its origins. 

Live long and prosper!