Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Nice Enough?


Are you a nicer person because you go to church -- assuming you do cross the threshold from time to time?

The New Republic magazine published a piece recently on research that shows churchgoers are generally nicer people than there non-worshipping counterparts. When I read past the headline I discovered that it is actually people of any religious expression, not just Christians who are "nicer." Since I think being nice can be highly overrated I was interested to get more information. The author quoted another columnist,Mike Gershon, who in turn was drawing on a new book by Bob Putnam and David Campbell called American Grace:

Against the expectations of hard-core secularists, Putnam asserts, "religious Americans are nicer, happier, and better citizens." They are more generous with their time and money, not only in giving to religious causes but to secular ones. They join more voluntary associations, attend more public meetings, even let people cut in line in front of them more readily. Religious Americans are three to four times more socially engaged than the unaffiliated. Ned Flanders is a better neighbor.

I'm not an American, yet I am serving a Canadian congregation of really decent human beings who, by and large, care deeply about each other and the broader community, so I can't argue. For years sociologists in this country have drawn essentially the same conclusions. There is something about joining with others who are called to higher standards, in our case in God's name, that invites generosity, integrity, compassion. We all know that we fail regularly, but the bar is set higher. In every congregation I have served there have been a handful of agnostics and atheists who are involved because they believe in the goals of the church, if not the God.

Here is another interesting twist. The book apparently argues that those who assemble but don't join in with others aren't as nice. The human interaction, as well as coming through the doors makes a difference.

To rephrase my original question, does getting together as religious people make us nicer? Do you care about being nicer?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I benefit from my time with the other participants in our bible study. Many are older than me, and I lean on their vast combined experiences for personal guidence. It may be that you either have faith or you don't but I think it is more likely you learn faith by seeing it demonstrated through others. I see examples of grace every Wed. and I hope I am cultivating my own "best self" along the way. I think niceness comes from experiencing this grace, a substance found in the places God is most welcomed in.

Anonymous said...

PS. Do I earn brownie points by proving I read your blog or is this on the honor system?

Laura said...

I have a sign that hangs in my house that says "because nice matters".....I bought it thinking of the kids' friends that come and go from our house, as kind of a "secular" commandment on how to treat each other while under our roof. Perhaps nice has become a bit of a platitude and perhaps I am biased, but as Pupil spoke of her Bible Study friends, my experience has been the same. As we have moved around the country, both growing up, and now in my adult life the church has been a source of wonderful, caring relationships and involvement in worthy, rewarding pursuits. Not only my own church, but church going folks in general have offered me friendships filled with respect, humility, compassion,growth, generosity, humour and hope, and I do try my best to offer that back to the world. So as my sign says....because (to me) nice matters.

David Mundy said...

Interesting that both of you are bible study participants and both find that the group and church folk in general help you to be nicer persons.

I lead that study and constantly find inspiration from the group. It's rare that I don't feel better by the time we're done, as is the case with so many congregational activities.

Pupil, I am willing to bestow as many Brownie Points as you deem appropriate. I could probably come up with a certificate!

Anonymous said...

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