Gheesh. I thought raising teens was a minefield when our three went through those turbulent years. They all found their way into adulthood with some ups and downs, but mostly ups.
Today? There is so much more to keep a parent up at night, wondering. The internet makes concerns about sex, drugs and alcohol seem almost quaint by comparison. I listened to someone who has done a study on the "selfie" culture of young people on the radio this morning and was literally shaking my head. As a herd of parents have migrated onto Facebook young people have predictably left and established connection on smaller screens and mediums such as Twitter and Instagram and others. They have cleverly figured out how to attract interest with some teens having more than a million followers. You read that right -- a million plus.
Of course to garner that sort of following teens have to constantly "up the ante" and that often means sexually provocative material. The person used the term "self-pornification" to refer to the practice of taking photos of oneself in risqué poses to share on the internet.
The parents of teens who heard that interview must have shuddered. The expert admitted that these practices are essentially parent-proof. It's next to impossible to monitor what happens on phones because of the techno-literacy of our young 'uns.
This made me think of the wonderful gang of tweens and teens in my former congregation, St. Paul's. These are thoughtful, grounded young people who have a strong network amongst themselves, along with exceptional Christian leadership and involved parents. Am I naïve enough to think that they are impervious to these influences? Nope. Do they have a faith base which may make a difference in terms of self-worth and --dare I say it-- moral judgment? I think so.
Even those of us in congregations where teens are few and far between can pray for our grandchildren and others finding their way into the fullness of adult life. There are plenty of young people whose desire is to be compassionate, whole persons who give to others. We have the opportunity to support them.
Comments?
4 comments:
It is rather unnerving to think of the far reaching implications of modern technology, and the potential disastrous consequences of misuse and abuse - however, nothing has changed much in history - any new device can be used for good or for evil...I guess the best we can do is ensure that our teens' devices have blocks to protect them, and then involve ourselves in their upbringing to teach the values needed to use all inventions wisely and for good. A HUGE challenge, to be sure.
Such a difference from my days as a teen, where I spent every possible moment after school playing street hockey or football, probably to the detriment of my studies. Thank goodness there wasn't all this technology to lure me away from that.
Although it is virtually impossible to "police" your children on the internet anymore, with so many social networking sites out there, but parents still need to have rules about the use of the computer in their homes. It just isn't healthy for a child to spend every minute at home on the computer.
As a parent of 3 tween-teens, and active in the life of the youth at our church, I do worry enough, but whether I am too naive I don't know, those aren't the issues that cause me concern.
I have been privileged to walk with a gaggle of church kids that seem to maneuver the myriad of choices that present through those teen years with self awareness and good sense.
I spent last weekend at an annual Conference wide, youth retreat in Carleton Place. The theme this year was chaplaincy and one of the guest speakers was a university chaplain whose greatest wisdom to the kids as they experienced transition to post secondary was finding that network of like minded folks to walk alongside you, including a chaplain, perhaps but also your cohorts.
I couldn't help that think that growing up is a transition every step of the way and that wisdom holds true throughout our lives.
These church kids spend Sunday morning together, youth group each week, church choir and band, they worship alongside their church family, they serve in the community together,and individually, they travel to youth events around the Conference all growing their network. They learn together, have fun together, are encouraged and challenged by their church family. They know they are loved. And this informs their living and their choices.
There is no magic answer and no guarantees but my witness sees their commitment to church life, supported by family, their congregation and the larger church as the greatest parenting advice I can offer.
Thank you all for commenting. I'm glad that Laura could offer such an uplifting comment as the third. I witnessed this as pastor of St. Paul's for ten years and I pray that it continues.
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