I have to confess that there are times when I wonder if I actually wrote a blog entry I had intended. Because there are so many subjects and opportunities I don't always recall. Often when I search my blogs I discover that I wrote something on a subject from a different perspective years before.
Did I write about the film Boy Erased? I don't think so, even though we thought it was a powerful picture. It is based on the experience of Garrard Conley who wrote a book with the same title. In the film he is Jared Eamons, the son of a small-town Baptist pastor who is outed as gay to his parents. His father and mother love their son but pressure him into attending a conversion therapy program. Jared participates in the program, reluctantly but eventually comes into conflict with its leader and accepts his orientation. Lucas Hedges is exceptional as Jared and Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe are believable as his struggling parents.
In the afterward for the film we discover that the man who ran the program for years was not qualified in any way to do so and ultimately left to begin life as an openly gay man.
I thought of Boy Erased when I saw a headline stating that "One of the most prominent "gay conversion therapists" in the US has divorced his wife and wants to start dating men."
David Matheson has acknowledged that his work was hurtful to people, and blamed his previous views on the "shame-based, homophobic-based system" of the Mormon church in which he was raised. He wrote "I enjoyed a happy and fulfilling marriage with my wife for many years. Overall, it was a beautiful relationship and being straight became a core part of my identity.
Matheson also said his desire to be in "an intimate relationship with a man" had become a "non-negotiable need" towards the end of his 34-year marriage, but admitted that he still found "too much homophobia in myself".
Through the years I've had conversations with a number of gay men who attempted to "marry themselves straight" even though they were aware of their orientation, struggling with guilt and shame. Some of them have been colleagues in ministry and often they have maintained loving and respectful relationships with their former partners after they parted ways as married couples. Still, what a sad reality for everyone involved.
Our society has changed, slowly, and LGBTQ persons are accepted for who they are in many settings, including in lots of faith communities. Yet there is still rejection and it is often in conservative churches that homophobia persists.
God be with those who want to experience love and acceptance in every aspect of their lives
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