Friday, November 27, 2020

The United Church Apologizes Once Again

The other day the United Church of Canada apologized for something I hadn't realized our denomination had been involved in.That is a fair accomplishment given that I've been part of the UCC my whole life and spent nearly four decades in pastoral ministry.

In the news release from November 20th we find:

The Executive of the General Council of The United Church of Canada issued an apology today for its role in separating mothers and their babies in maternity homes it operated from the end of World War II to 1980. “Women told us that they felt, pressured, coerced, or forced to give up their babies and the church recognizes it participated in the culture of shame that surrounded unmarried mothers at that time,” says the Rev. Daniel Hayward, chairperson of the church’s Theology and Inter-Church Inter-Faith Committee that recommended the apology.

I'm old enough to remember the shame attached to the term "unwed mother' and when I was a teen one of my classmate became pregnant. I was unsettled by the disdain expressed by my minister father, and was confused as to whether as a "moral" person I should feel more critical of someone I'd gone to school with all my life. I've never forgotten the conversation in our household. 

We know that the circumstances were even more horrific in some denominations where unwed mothers became virtual slaves of the church in the laundries as punishment for their sinfulness, as well as having their children put up for adoption. The film Philomena and the story it told of one such mother in Ireland comes to mind. 

We can wonder whether these apologies for historic wrongs really matter. I hope that this one does, that women who felt shamed and who have lived with the loss of a child all these years will be aware of what has transpired. There are no "illegitimate" children and we are all loved by a God or mercy and compassion. The last paragraph of the news release says: 

The effects of the adoption practices still reverberate in the lives of those affected. A single apology cannot erase a lifetime of silent suffering, but it may be the first step toward blunting the culture of shame that surrounded young women who became pregnant in an era when moral judgments were quick and severe. The writers of the apology state, “We have heard how you lived with shame and stigma placed on you by the church and society. We are truly sorry.”



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