Yes, Words Do Hurt

 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths,

 but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, 

so that your words may give grace to those who hear. 

                                                                            Ephesians 4:29

Sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words will never hurt me.

Last week we spoke with a friend who has experienced regular criticism and harassment from one of her superiors at work. This person is employed by a large corporation and has several superiors, yet this is the only one who makes life miserable for him/her (I'll protect identity. She/he finally approached the immediate superior who supports his/her work, and that person spent time asking another manager and co-workers about his/her worth ethic and interpersonal skills. Every person spoke highly of this maligned individual both in job performance and personal interactions.

The irony of all this is that the company had just taken its staff through a day-long seminar on bullying and has also emphasized maintaining mental health through the pandemic. The bully is someone valued for skills and productivity but obviously hasn't absorbed what the employer is trying to achieve in terms of a positive work environment. Our friend was relieved and reassured by the outcome of the inquiries but has struggled with the effect of the attacks.

We had our conversation on the same day a scathing report was released about the toxic work environment which existed in the offices of the now former Governor General of Canada, Julie Payette. Staffers felt belittled and intimidated to the point that some resigned from their positions. It's hard to fathom how Payette was appointed to the prestigious position when there is evidence that this has been a pattern for her in other leadership roles. 

This got me thinking about the church as well. Unfortunately there is plenty of bullying that goes on in communities of faith  Sometimes clergy are the bullies, abusing power, although denominations such as the United Church tend to give less authority to pastors. Too often the bullies are members who have been around a long time and have a sense of entitlement which is destructive.They intimidate other congregants and engage in attacks on clergy which can be vicious. 

Sadly, women in ministry are more likely to be harassed, sometimes for petty reasons such as attire and weight. That said,  I am a white male with a considerable physical presence, which makes a difference, yet in several congregations there were people whose behaviour was aggressive, including vicious gossip and nonsensical threats of legal action over decisions duly made by the congregation. One minister acquaintance was threatened with physical violence in the parking lot of a church following a meeting with a conflicted board on behalf of presbytery. More recently cyber-bullying has become a reality in Christian circles. As the years went on I became both more skilled at countering this behaviour and yet less willing to endure it. It was a factor in when I chose to retire. 

Wherever it occurs, aggressive behaviour and bullying are hurtful, counter-productive, and morally wrong. In Christian communities of faith it is antithetical to the gospel but because of human nature, which we describe as sinfulness as Christians, it will always happen. A call to repentance and perhaps a "time out" likely needs to happen more often. And no one should leave a job because of bullying and receive a gold--plated pension and perks!