Kingdom Parables & Theobros

 [Jesus] put before them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches."

He told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of flour until all of it was leavened."

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; 46on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. So it will be at the end of the age. The angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them into the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

"Have you understood all this?" They answered, "Yes." And he said to them, "Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like the master of a household who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old." 

                   Matthew 13:31-33, 44-52 NRSVue

A theobro is a conservative male, nearly always evangelical  (likely evangelical) obsessed with arguing Christian theology with others, often on Twitter. Theobro is the result of the combination of "theology" and "bro."

Have you heard the term "theobro"? As the definition describes, it's usually guys trotting out eye-rolling explanations of why they are right and everyone else is wrong, theologically, especially when it comes to the role of women in the Body of Christ. The Internet has given voice to this gang who are often circling like vultures around the social media presence of anyone who has a different point of view. It's astounding how imperious and malevolent they can be as "defenders of the faith."

I thought about the theobros when I read today's gospel passage in the midst of Ordinary Time, deep in the heart of summer. 

Jesus is mainsplaining deep theological principles with other self-appointed theologians. Oh, wait, he isn't at all. In fact, he rarely engages in theological duels anywhere in the gospels, instead telling stories or answering trick questions with enigmatic yet incisive questions of his own.

Here in Matthew he does some "throw spaghetti at the wall until something sticks" parable-telling. And while the gospel-writer may have made his own choices about gathering the parables together in this fashion there is something almost amusing about the "did you hear the one about" rapid succession of earthy, relatable stories about the way of God's reign -- no oie-in-the-sky-when-we-die here. Even at the conclusion, when Jesus asks if they understand what he's driving at, he throws in one more for good measure. 

Don't get me wrong, I am convinced that there is a time for theological explication and through the decades I've been concerned that we've drifted away from both an educated clergy and membership, although I've seen how laypersons are often eager to learn. 

That said, Jesus was not a theobro. We do need to remind ourselves that Jesus loved a good story, and even employed the leaven of humour. 

Say, did you hear about the theobro filter for social media? I wish... 

                                                  A Theobro in his natural habitat...wrong finger?