But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about those who have died,[so that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have died.
1 Thessalonians 4: 13-15 NRSVue
If you believe in forever
Then life is just a one-night standIf there's a rock n' roll heavenWell you know they've got a hell of a band, band, bandThey've got a hell of a band
The Righteous Brothers
In 2018 an orca or killer whale in Puget Sound off Washington state known as Tahlequah, captured our attention by carrying her dead calf for 17 days and more than 1600 kilometers in what certainly seemed to be an act of mourning.
Late this past December she gave birth again but researchers were immediatelyt concerned about the health of her latest calf and on New Year's Eve it was confirmed dead. Once again Tahlequah has been carrying her dead "child" and who knows how long this will continue.
We can't know the minds of other creatures yet it seems clear that many species including elephants, dogs, certain birds, and other cetaceans are aware of the deaths of their companions and family members and they grieve, sometimes with ritual behaviour.
Humans mourn as well, often with specific rites including expectations for interrment and length of grieving. What I learned during my decades in ministry was that even when we have our conventions around funerals and memorial services they certainly aren't always the same and the nature of grief is unique to each person.
Individuals who loved and cared for a lost loved one with devotion sometimes moved on relatively quickly, or so it seemed. In some circumstances the deceased was a miserable so-and-so who made every day difficult for those around him/her yet the sense of loss was profound and lasting within the family. Some expressed grief with great emotion and others just didn't.
Having a Resurrection hope was great comfort for certain people yet not for others. I was often surprised by the elaborate notions of the afterlife that some held, perspectives that I didn't share and wondered how they developed them in the first place (see song lyrics above). I did my best to keep my eyebrows from shooting up!
In the past few weeks I've become aware of the deaths of two elderly women (more elderly than me!) who had been "promoted to glory", as the Salvation Army used to describe it. Both were former parishioners from different congregations so it was my role to be their pastor -- my job. Still, they were intelligent, creative, faith-full individuals and I was fond of both of them .I felt the pang of loss when I got the news.
There are so many unique persons I have mourned over time, along with a few pets, and I suppose I carry them in my heart and mind, and I hope I always will. I wonder if it's appropriate to say a pray for Tahlequah in her grief?
1 comment:
Reading about the grieving whale certainly pulls at the heartstrings. I certainly mourned the passing of my parents, who died a few years apart, but it helped me to know that neither was particularly fearful of death. I feel grateful that I was at the bedside of both at the time of their passing.
For my mother, I'd received a call from my sister that my mother was in hospital and only had a few hours left. I was working in Windsor for a couple of days at the time, and to say that I sped back to Peterborough would be an understatement. But I got there with two hours to spare.
My Dad mentioned several times when I was younger that he'd had a very close call in WW2 and now did not fear death. That, and knowing he had a strong belief that there was something after this life, helped me when I was at his bedside as he passed.
But ultimately - and I loved it when you said this, David - nobody gets out alive!
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