First of all it was NFL star Ray Rice who was suspended for domestic violence. Then it was another pro ball player, star Adrian Peterson, who was kicked off his team for using a switch to punish a child. The latter situation sparked a debate about corporal punishment for children. Some African Americans offered that a majority of black dads in the States might be fired if it were known that they smacked their kids as discipline. There are lots of conservative Christians who feel that physical punishment is supported by scripture. No matter that a couple of verses from Proverbs are slim pickins'. It is an enduring mandate for punishment, from God no less.
This situation got me thinking about my childhood. My father, a minister, seemed to get great satisfaction out of physically punishing his two sons. He had a sawed-off yardstick which was the usual form of punishment, and it actually accompanied us on vacation. Fun times! When the stick was not readily available an open hand or fist would do, and we received many slaps and punches over the years, often without warning, and for misdemeanors that weren't always immediately evident to us. My mother hated to see us knocked around and did everything she could to protect us. We were both sneaky and fearful as a result. This didn't stop until my younger brother, a teen at the time, informed our dad that if he ever punched him again he would clean his clock. That brought the physical punishment to an end.
For years into adulthood we joked together about this reign of terror, then we realized how abusive it had been. I have always been reluctant to tell others --hey, this was my parent. Even now with my father long dead I don't like admitting that he did this. But I know now how wrong it was. The euphemism "spanking" doesn't begin to sanitize what this really was. I must add that it was common for children to be spanked in my era, but that didn't make it right.
As we raised our three children we quickly concluded that spanking was an expression of parental frustration, not an appropriate form of discipline. It is not right and it is not Godly to beat on our kids. God is a loving parent, and loving parents don't abuse. Yes, children can drive us to distraction at times. And yes, we may express frustration and anger inappropriately. But there is no justification for physical violence against the vulnerable, including children. I would like to think we did better as parents, and I'm confident our kids will do better than we did. I already see that with our grandson.
Thoughts?



