More than 200 people gathered at St. Paul's yesterday for the funeral of a long-time and beloved member. Doris was the woman in the critical care unit I blogged about last week. Sadly, we watched her slip away and yesterday was the opportunity for people to pay their respects in a service of worship.
Doris did a remarkable amount of good without fanfare. She was involved in many community organizations and cared deeply about a number of social issues. She loved the beauty of the natural world and actively cared for the environment.
It was so important that people came to support her family and honour her memory. A former minister and friend made the effort to be at the service. Our parish nurse and Christian development minister took part. Although this was a weekday, fifteen choir members came and did the important work of leading congregational singing and offeried a lovely anthem. Her bible study buddies were there, and people representing many facets of her life. Several members of her family offered fitting and moving tributes to their loved one.
None of us really wanted to be confronted by death, but there was an opportunity to celebrate a life lived well and to commend her to God's care and keeping. It was simply right that this service happened, even though Doris would have wondered at the fuss.
Because it was St. Patrick's Day we concluded the service with the hymn We Shall Go Out With Hope of Resurrection. I think we did.
As I looked out at the congregation I was struck by the importance of this worship event taking place in a church rather than a funeral chapel. We were remembering a person of faith, strongly rooted in this congregation. Any thoughts on the value and meaning of a church funeral?
3 comments:
Although I have only known Doris since last Sept. I was thankful to have the chance to show my respect for her in the church where she became a part of my life. She taught me a lot in that short time, especially on the day of her diagnosis. I thought that day that she had offered me a model, something to aim for in my own life. Had her funeral service been more private or non-existant as sometimes is the case today, I would not have had the opportunity to show the respect that I felt for her or to acknowledge my own sadness. Nor would I have had the opportunity to mourn for her amongst the people who knew her best, which would have lessened my sense of her, because my personal memories of Doris cover such a brief time. I would have missed out on experiencing the full essence of Doris. Those who spoke of her gave me a much greater sense of her life, and not just the part she played in mine. This gave me far greater comfort than I would have experienced. It is the sense of a life well lived, appreciated, and unique that comes to life at a church funeral. Doris' life was about community, and so the community gathered which seems fitting. I think there must be a lot of those kinds of lost opportunities in today's world where church funerals are no longer a given.
The service was beautiful. I like the service in the church but I did miss the closing of 'Ashes to Ashes' etc.
It's interesting that the two responses so far are from people who attended the service, one who knew Doris briefly and another for many years.
Thanks, pupil, for speaking of the benefit of gathering as a community even when we don't know a person well.
And thanks for the feedback, Laurie, as someone who loved Doris.
It's hard to use the "ashes to ashes" words when there is no casket and no urn. Our changing funeral/memorial practices pose new challenges for clergy.When we eventually go to the cemetery those words can be spoken.
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